Are You Dead?

Writers: Avery, Clancey
Date Posted: 8th March 2015

Characters: J'darin, Talwynn
Description: J'darin asks Talwynn for a favor.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 11, day 6 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: D'kere

J'darin

**Hasaarth ..can you see if Riveth's is free? I would like to ask her a
favor.. ** They would start night drills next week, and he wanted a
Starsmith in for guest lectures, and truth be told, to help the younglings
with memorizing the Star charts. He also knew what it was like to be
Scored and have people treat you like you were no use suddenly and he knew
it was not true.

Besides, he liked the feisty greenrider and thought some of his students
could do with her good example.

}:My rider is free. She'll be right there,:{ Riveth told the bronze,
lifting her head up to peer over at him with interest. She liked when
people wanted to talk to her rider.

Within a few minutes, Talwynn was heading to J'darin's door. She leaned on
her cane and knocked on it. "Hello?"

"Hello Talwynn. Come on in. " He waved her in to have a seat across from
him. "Thank you for coming so quickly. Please have a seat. Can I get
you some klah, or anything?" He waited for her to make her way in and
settle. He stood up to fetch her anything she might want. "I have
something of a proposition for you."

"My duty to Hasaarth, sir. I had nothing to do till the sun sets," she
cracked, giving him a tentative little smile.

"Klah would do me well," she added as she sat down.

He poured her a cup, set it near her, and smiled as he returned to his
seat.

He chuckled and nodded. "Its what you do at night I wanted to speak to you
about..." His eyes twinkled slightly as that could be taken a number of
ways assuming he was not happily weyrrmated and she involved with his
'Second.

"We are about to start night drills, and in the last few weeks of their
training, it would be good if you could help them learn their star
patterns. I'd like you to give a general lecture to the entire class
about the night sky and using it for guidelines, then help them each, or a
few of them, as needed to really learn their charts. Do you think you
would like that, and be willing?"

Her eyebrow shot up, and his next words were intriguing. Mostly her craft
was practiced in solitude now, so the idea of actually working with and
teaching someone sounded appealing. If nothing else, it would break her
regular solitude.

"Who better to teach about star navigation than a Starsmith? I like i, and
would be honored to work with the weyrlings."

"That's wonderful, Talwynn. And yes, definitely, there is no one better.
You can report to our first night class, the day after tomorrow's restday.
Will that work for you?"

"I can do that," she affirmed.

She could have left it there, but... J'darin had gone through something
similar. She wondered if he had advice. "Actually, there's something I'd
like to know, if it's alright."

He paused, returning his attention fully to her. Interesting.... He
didn't know Talwynn well, but he did know her. He could not begin to
guess what she might want to ask, unless it was the other thing they had in
common - D'kere. A faint twitch betrayed his thoughts about the love
life of his 'Second. None of his business really. He could not imagine
what else on Pern she'd want to know, but he owed her for helping him out
and, besides, he found that he _wanted_ to help her.

His fingers steepled under his chin and those blue eyes cocked curiously.
"Of course, Talwynn. Ask me anything."

"I've been feeling very useless lately. I was in a funk after - everything
-" he probably understood that. "It was far too long. It was giving up. I
want to get back to living and being useful. You giving me this chance for
the weyrlings helps with that."

He was struck by her comments and finally spoke quietly, his voice
laden with understanding. His gaze traveled from her to his own
scarred right arm and he considered what might best help her. After
all, he had trouble with this very issue himself, and often.

Finally, he smiled gently. "I found that I needed a job to focus
myself after... losing my Weyrleadership on top of being scarred....
I needed to focus. But I have learned in the intervening turns that
scars do not make you useless. It is only what you choose to do
_after_ you get them that can make you useless. You have learned the
hard way what happens to dragonriders and I think that knowledge is
valuable. Plus, you now have time to Craft, which is also valuable.
" He held up a finger and added pointedly, "What you'll notice about
both of those valuable things about you is that neither requires you
to be physically whole, or unscarred. Your lessons can be passed on
to future riders in both areas and I think, in all honesty, we could
use someone like you on the Staff officially, if you ever decide you
want to do more than your Craft."

"Your perseverance in the face of grave injury is a trait that can be
shared and passed on to these young, wide-eyed weyrlings who think
they are indestructible." He caught her eyes again and went on, in
that very soft voice.

"Never forget Talwynn... you _are_ useful unless your are dead. Are
you dead?" His eyebrow arched, teasing. "You don't look dead.... So
take this chance and run with it. And if I can help you more, with
more jobs, more talks, more ...anything.. I am happy to help you.
You teach my weyrlings, and I'll help you. Deal?" He grinned at
her.

>From others, she might have not believed them. For example, she
trusted D'kere and Tavia as fellow riders, but they hadn't been
through the same things. Whereas J'darin had been. His words didn't
come from the desire to help alone, but that desire balanced with the
salt of the same bitterness and the grit of having lived through it.
So she kept quiet and didn't interrupt him at the beginning, when he
talked about the kinds of things she could do.

And his last words stirred unexpected feelings. She responded with a
quick bark of startled laughter which turned into a full on chuckle.
The bronzerider was right. She wasn't dead, even if maybe she'd been
stumbling through life like she had been. She was alive, and she could
serve in her own way.

"You might regret offering to help," she said when she stopped laughing.

"I doubt that, Talwynn." His smile was full of a reflection of her
laughter. He was pleased he could help her. He knew exactly how she
felt. "I have been there, and I know. But I also have stood on the
other side and realized the truth of walking through the adjustments
to find your new place." It was going to be harder for her, he
thought she was permanently grounded. But there was so much more to
her life with her craft. And she still had her dragon.

"I can't wait to see what you do with your chance, lady greenrider."
He winked at her, unable to resist his natural charming nature.
"Make you proud, sir," she said with a grin back at him. She'd help
with this class, maybe volunteer with the weyrlings more...maybe in
the future she could even ask to drill with them. But first she should
succeed at the initial challenge.

"Had you needed anything else?"

He smiled warmly at her again, and rose to his feet in respect. "That is
all, Talwynn, and much appreciated. My door is always open to you,
greenrider."

She nodded politely and took her leave with a spring in her step.

Last updated on the March 16th 2015

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Are You Dead?