The Memory of a Name

Writers: AL, Heather
Date Posted: 2nd January 2016
Series: The Unwanted Sister

Characters: Relea, Coran
Description: Discuss, or agree not to discuss, baby names.
Location: Green Valley Hold
Date: month 3, day 13 of Turn 8

Relea

Relea perused the list she'd made up thus far. Of them all, there were
several that she liked in particular, but she didn't know if Coran would.
After a few moments, she glanced over at her husband who was perched on his
chair at his desk. Finally, Relea rose and crossed over to him. She
placed the sheet of paper upon the desk, then smiled.

Coran looked over the sheet of paper, at the list of names. Even though he
knew immediately what it was, he couldn't help looking up at his wife and
asking, "What is this?"

"Names I thought of." Relea signed, then indicated the parchment. "Of
them, I like Corlea the best for a girl and Leran for a boy." She paused,
then asked, "Do you have any suggestions?"

He didn't like either of the names, especially since Leran was too much
like her brother's name, and Coran didn't want their child having anything
to do with his Uncle Leaton. What he disliked more than the names, was the
fact that Relea was even thinking about names at this point. Hadn't they
agreed that the reason they were waiting to tell their families about the
pregnancy was in the event that she miscarried early again the way she had
last time?

"It's a bit early to be thinking about names isn't it?" He settled for
saying.

"I just wanted to get some ideas." Relea's hands fell, one resting upon
the piece of paper briefly, then rose again. "Do you have any you
particularly like?"

Coran shook his head. "Honestly, I am trying not to think about it at this
point. There's no use getting my hopes up and getting my heart set on a
name… Not until you're further along."

The gentle smile that had graced Relea's lips suddenly fell. "I just
thought...it might be nice to talk about names."

He thought of the name he'd given his stillborn daughter that Alyei had
given him, even as she passed away from the intense fever she bore. Caylee.
Coran's jaw tightened a bit as he looked down at the names Relea had
listed.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Coran finally signed. "I just
can't, I'm sorry. Not yet. Not until it is safe."

That wasn't what Relea wanted to her. For a moment, she thought about
pressing the point, but as her hands rose to 'talk' again, she paused.
"Okay." She finally signed with a quick flick of one hand.

She had hoped he would talk to her. Lately, their conversations had been
so stilted. She missed the man who had taken her on picnics, who had to
withhold his desire before they were married and was so eager to be with
her. Now a wall had come between them and Relea wasn't sure how to break
it down. Suddenly, she grabbed the parchment and crumpled into a ball
before she turned away, tears stinging her eyes.

Guilt plagued him as he heard her crumple up the paper. He didn't want to
hurt her, that was never his intention. Pushing away from his desk, he
stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He signed the words
"I'm sorry" in front of her where she could see while he pressed a kiss to
the top of her head.

Although he had apologised, Relea couldn't stop the tears. At first, it
was a single trickle, then suddenly, there was a flood of them. Why she
was breaking down, she didn't know, but she couldn't hold them back, even
though her hands tried to close the dam that had been broken by the tide.

Coran turned her around and wrapped his arms around her, saying with
actions what she couldn't hear through his voice. Causing Relea to cry tore
at Coran's insides. Tenderly he stroked her hair, trying to soothe her in
the only way he knew how.

Relea wished she knew why she was crying so hard. It wasn't as if Coran
had been cruel to her or even had no remorse. If anything, she should
simply accept the apology and move on, but instead the woman found herself
falling into those tears without any good reason what so ever. Eventually
she stopped and wiped at her eyes. "I'm sorry." She managed to sign after
a moment. "I don't know why I'm crying."

"Because you're pregnant?" He offered, the hint of a smile lifting the
corner of his mouth.

"I don't want to upset you." The last thing she wanted was any sort of
rift between them. Already, she felt that wall was there and Relea didn't
want to make it any worse.

"I think I am the one upsetting you." he said.

Relea inhaled deeply, the let the breath go slowly before signing. "Our
last baby didn't have a name." Her hand motions were slow. "I thought,
maybe if we had names picked out for this one, it would bring us luck."

"I am afraid of the opposite, that it would be bad luck. My first baby was
named and it didn't stop her from being stillborn." He told her.

Even though she had asked once about his deceased wife, Coran didn't tell
her much about his family before she'd come along. "What was her name?"
She asked, her motions careful, almost fearful, as if he might burst out
at her in anger.

Coran signed out each individual letter, "C-A-Y-L-E-E."

Caylee. It was a pretty name as far as Relea could tell. "I'm sorry.
I'll wait." She signed after a moment. Her list of names had been
crumpled and she wouldn't attempt to try another until Coran said he was
ready.

"Just a little while longer, I promise, then we'll fill ten scrolls with
names." He grinned a little.

"All right." Relea agreed. She'd do her best not to press him until he
was ready.

Last updated on the January 12th 2016

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The Memory of a Name