It's Complicated

Writers: Leigh M-F., Paula
Date Posted: 2nd February 2016

Characters: E'naer, A'kua
Description: Blood relations can be a pain in the arse.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 3, day 24 of Turn 8

Zeiranth knew it was dangerously close to lights out. Everyone else was bedding down, but his partner was still somewhere outside the barracks, and each time Zeiranth asked him to come back, A'kua just thought **Later.** If he didn't come back soon, not only would he get in trouble, his hands would be hurt despite how he had wrapped them. Shards, they were hurting now, dull pain pounding in the knuckles. Zeiranth felt it when he dug deeper into their bond.

Well, fine. If A'kua wouldn't listen to him, and was ignoring his own pain, maybe he would listen to someone else. }:Eillispeth, could you please send your rider to get mine?:{ he asked. }:He went into the halls not far from the barracks, but he's not coming back no matter how many times I ask. If he's going to be stubborn, I'm going to be mean. Just tell your rider to be careful: A'kua wrapped his hands and went to hit a wall, so your rider should stay out of range.:{

**There are punching bags for that,** E'naer sighed when he heard it thru Eillispeth. **Tell Zeiranth that I'm going there.** While Eillispeth was reassuring the young bronze, E'naer hurried towards the young rider. When he found A'kua, he stopped out of his arms reach and just observed him for minute or two.

"I really should introduce you to the Weyr's boxing team. They have bags for that, you know," he said.

A'kua was quite sweaty, but he had set his tunic aside before he had gotten to the serious business of punching the wall. "Didn't know we had a team," he said shortly, still driving blows against the rock. Left, left, right, left, right, left, right right left. The thick cloth wrappings on his hands kept the impact from causing too much damage, but the vibrations from each shot jolted him. He was oddly okay with that.

"It's a small one, mostly made of former Hold guards," E'naer answered. "What's bugging you?"

The weyrling gave a bitter half-laugh. "Guess the gossip's not as fast as it could be." He threw another punch, this one harder. "My stupid whorin' sire found me. He left today. Good riddance."

"Ah, yes, daddy issues," of course E'naer had heard about it. He just wanted A'kua to tell him about it himself. "At least you know you have one. Mine died when I was baby," he continued. Although his parents had been married before he died as a victim of the Plague. Still, growing up fatherless hadn't been easy. His little sister had it even worst: she was result of their mother's relationship with a dragonrider. Which is why she had ended up fostering her daugher at the Weyr. Ennie still blamed their mother for abandoning her. So, E'naer could understand what A'kua was feeling. Reason had nothing to do with it. "Still, you're going to _need_ those hands so please, stop hitting the wall."

A'kua's left fist hit stone one last time, and he gave E'naer a poisonous glare. "Do _not_ call him that." he snarled, drawing his hand back and beginning to unwrap the padding. "He doesn't deserve to be called that."

"So, what should he be called then? A seed donor?" E'naer could be sarcastic when he wanted to. He waited to see if his sarcams would go thru to A'kua better than compassion.

"Exactly. Call him what he is." It had been sarcasm, but it fell in line with how A'kua felt. The cloth kept coming off as he went on. "He's not worth knowin'. His visit wasn't worth the news he had. The worst part is, I wasn't allowed to hurt him like I wanted to. I had to use words. But I couldn't get the news if I couldn't keep my hands off him." His tone was frustrated, but beginning to edge into tired as well. He had been at the wall for a while. The last of the cloth strips was removed, and he got to work on his right hand. "I just couldn't be around people until I thought the bleedin' idjits in my class wouldn't care when I came back in."

"Beating people is always wrong," E'naer said. "About the rest: you don't have to see or meet him. If you want to, you can forget he exsists. Just say a word, if the Weyrleaders see that he has derimetal effect on you, he can be banned forever entering the Weyr," E'naer said. "Just because he sired you, you don't need him. You have us and Zeiranth now. Any news he has, he can always tell them to any Weyr's harpers or Headwoman and they can relay it to you. And as far as your classmates comes, have you noticed that people treat you the way you treat them? If you treat them like they are idiots, they do act like idiots with you."

"They're idiots because they're idiots," A'kua muttered, but didn't press the point. Instead, he started rolling up the cloth. "Anyway, he _knows_ he's not welcome back. He can't even write but for one thing. But I'm still angry." He looked up at E'naer, not realizing how hurt his expression was. "Why does someone even bother with stuff like this after eighteen Turns? He was _told_ how much I hate him and he came anyway. It wasn't worth the risk, was it?"

"There is such thing than need to reproduce, even in males. Young man carelessly spreads his seed around, but when he comes older he suddenly wants to know if any of them sprouted. It's important to a man to know he has son, especially in the holds," E'naer said. It sometimes pained him that he couldn't have children of his own. Then he went and borrowed his sister's son. It was the next best thing. In a way, the weyrlings also became his children. "Not knowing this particular man in question, I really can't say what his motives are. I can only speculate."

"That would figure. I didn't think he was being altruistic anyway." A'kua picked up his shirt, folded it, and placed the wrappings on top, rolling them up in the cloth. "I just-" He broke off and let out a long sigh. "I wish I had some better answers, but the best person to ask would be my ma, and she's dead. And I can't ask him because I can't trust him. Why does family have to be so Ancients-damned complicated?"

"Because it's family?" E'naer suggested.

"Aye," A'kua mumbled, shoulders drooping. "At least I have the Weyr, huh?" It was a half-hearted sentiment, but he was trying. Not that unbending that far was easy, but he made the attempt anyway.

"And you have Zeiranth, who will think you're the most wonderful person on Pern no matter what you do," E'naer said gently. He just wanted to give the boy a hug.

A'kua put a hand to his forehead, pushing his sweaty bangs back. His mind hurt from too many questions, too many doubts, and he didn't know how to shut them up. The most prominent one was the fact he could never forget Eionen's existence now. Their faces were virtually identical, proof of their blood relation. Having the Weyr as a family was great, but- "I wish I could be someone else's son," he mumbled without thinking, then realized what he'd said and hastily changed the subject. "So I- I guess it's lights-out now. How much trouble am I in?"

"I'm here with you, so we can forget the missing lights-out," E'naer said. "As for Eionen-case. You just have to work it out on your own, decide what you want of him, if nothing," he continued. "We're always willing to listen if you want to talk," he added, "and give advice but it's your life, we can't decide what's best for you."

**I'm not sure I can either when I feel like this,** A'kua thought. "Thank you," was what he said. "Really I- I wouldn't be able cope at all if I were alone." After a moment, he shrugged and said "Let's go back now, I guess."

"We are here for you. And you don't have to decide it right away. Let your head cool off first. And yes, it's time for bed," E'naer said.

A'kua fell into step with the older man. He didn't speak until they reached the doorway of the barracks, when he asked one last question. "Not every father or sire's horrible, right?"

"There are some very great fathers out there," E'naer nodded towards the Weyr's looming shape. "And whole lot of mediocre ones."

The weyrling almost smiled. "Thanks. I needed to hear that." Logically, he'd known, but actually hearing it aloud truly did help.

Last updated on the February 9th 2016

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It's Complicated