Attempting to Live Again

Writers: Danielle
Date Posted: 16th April 2006

Characters: E'dian
Description: E'dian transfers to Dragonsfall
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 11, day 12 of Turn 3
Notes: E'dian's intro post

Memories. They were ingrained in the very stone of the Weyr, in the water and in the sky, in even this particular weyr. He hadn't had the heart to move out of it. Even after she... He didn't want to finish the thought, but he forced himself to say the words. "Even after she died..." The familiar pain rose again, and he let his eyes close against it, as if in that darkness he could find release that simply refused to come.

When he opened his eyes again, he looked down at the orders that would take him away from this. Transfer. He had wanted this, hadn't he? More though, he needed it. Rationally and logically, he knew that. It still hurt to leave. And yet, it would hurt worse to stay and be constantly reminded of his failure that led to Meian's death...

~*~

}: They have them...:{ Shandarath's voice echoed in his mind as the two other bronzes brought their burden to rest on the ground near the Infirmary.

**Who is it?** E'dian asked, running with the team of Healers to the newest casualty of this particularly bad Fall. As soon as he saw the flash of green intermingled with the bronze color of the two dragons that brought them down, he stopped and he knew. **Oh,please....no....**

"Come on, lad, work to be done..." Alixana said, her voice ringing with command as she passed him, her steps brisk as she hurried over to the thread scored pair. It was habit, more than anything, that made him follow, made him ignore the fact that it was Meian and Awenyth that were injured. And it was both of them, scored badly- but there was hope. There had to be hope...

He couldn't see her when the second team of Healers cut the riding straps and pulled her from Awenyth's back. Alixana was snapping out commands, her voice competing with the sounds of dragons' pain and shouting riders. He held onto that- the only anchor he had right now. That and his training. Almost automatically, he began laying out the tools they would need to treat the terrible scoring the green had suffered. Viridianth, Alixana's green, locked eyes with Awenyth, forcing her to calm while her rider was taken away.

With the help of some of the other journeymen, they got Awenyth's wing braced and began to sterilize the needles and thread in redwort solution. Alixana and two of the other Masters began to stitch the flesh back together. The extent of the scoring ran from the green's neck and shoulder and a good part of her wing. "E'dian, wash your hands in that redwort there and get a new needle. I need you for this," Alixana yelled. She was working on the green's shoulder, where the muscles were torn around the base of the wing. "There- start on the neck and throat. She's loosing too much ichor- find where it's coming from and stop it!"

E'dian grimly set to work, forcing his mind to that task only.
Concentrating on the muscle and vein and the rhythm of stitching them together, making whole again what was torn apart. His world coalesced into the task of suturing the wounds. It seemed as though candlemarks had passed, but in reality it was swiftly done, and finally, finally the last stitch was in place, Alixana handed him a clean towel and an apprentice came around with clean water for the healers to wash their hands. "Well done, lad," Alixana said. "She's going to pullthrough this, I think."

E'dian allowed himself a smile as he cleaned his hands and dried them on the towel. "Good."

"That was our last, let's go in," Alixana said, "And find out how
Awenyth's rider is..." They went inside, and asked one of the
apprentices where the green rider had been placed. As they walked down the hall to the room they were directed to, E'dian braced himself.

Not enough, as it turned out.

"She's going into shock!" The shout came from the other side of the door. A handful of Healers were swarming the bed, doing what little they could forher torn body. His grandmother held his arm as he started to enter. "E'dian..."

"I have to see her..."

"Let the Healers do their work. We did ours, now it's their turn."

"She needs me..."

"E'dian..."

:{ No! Awenyth!}: Shandarath's voice filled his mind, the grief the bronze felt for his mate almost brought E'dian falling to his knees.

"Meian!" E'dian screamed and rushed for the door, ad when he entered, the room was silent. The MasterHealer who had been tending the rider looked up when he entered.

"I'm so sorry, but we lost her..." The Master said quietly. The words seemed to make no sense at all, even as E'dian stumbled to her bedside. She was there- so pale though, and the scoring she'd suffered mirrored that of her dragon's, which he'd worked so hard to mend... but the frail human body could only withstand so much trauma...

He heard the Healers behind him, talking quietly with Alixana.
"She lost too much blood. We thought she was doing well....once the wounds were all stitched....not enough help here, we're spread far toothin...."

~*~

Words. They didn't make much sense at the time. They made sense now. And that was a very great part of it all. He'd made the choice to be a dragonhealer. If he'd stayed with human healing, he could have done something. If he'd been out there flying Thread, he could have done something. If...if...if...

But she was gone. And nothing in the world would bring her back.

:{ We should go.}: Shandarath said quietly.

**Yes...yes we should...** He was, after all, attempting to live again. This transfer would help with that. He hoped.

Last updated on the April 18th 2006

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Attempting to Live Again