Simple Acceptance Makes things Easier

Writers: Miriah
Date Posted: 18th November 2020

Characters: Ninaine, Jahenna
Description: Ninaine discovers something and takes action.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 7, day 2 of Turn 10

Ninaine

"I don't get it." Ninaine spoke softly as she sat up, looking at the
Healer, her face tight. "They're supposed to work, Jahenna. Am I just
getting bad batches? I never skip. I'm careful."

The Healer sighed, rising to wash her hands after the exam. "If it's
a bad batch, you're the only one who's gotten it. Three in only three
years is unusual, especially for a greenrider. Although, you don't go
/between/ as often as a rider in the fighting wings. " She dried off
her hands and sat. "The thing is, teas don't always prevent
pregnancies all of the time, Ninaine. You were on the teas for your
first, right?"

"Yes."

"And your second."

"Yes. I honestly wasn't ready for another pregnancy, but..." Ninaine
rubbed at her temple. "I knew N'call wanted another, so I kept them.
"

"Hmmm... honestly, they may just not affect your body as well as
other women's. It happens since our bodies are so different."

"I can't do this again, Jahenna." For more than one reason. She'd
been absolutely miserable in her first pregnancy with sickness and her
emotions everywhere. The second was good at first, but after N'call
had been sent away and how she felt after... she felt a distinct
aversion to ever bearing a child again. **And it may not be his this
time,** she thought with a clench of her belly. With the timing,
Faranth, it could be N'var's, J'lor's, or N'call's. She'd been with
all three.

"Well, it's still early. You have options, Ninaine. Whatever you
decide, let me know. It's early enough that going /between/ won't be
as hard on your body. It could just be like a heavy flow. But, I do
have to tell you, if you decide to keep it, having given birth so
recently, it may be harder on your body. "

"I'm never having another." She spoke softly, but firmly. "I don't
want anymore, Jahenna. I'm not going through another pregnancy."

The Healer pursed her lips, then nodded. "Well then, I suggest that
you go /between/ as often as a rider in a fighting wing for prevention
purposes. Just in case."

Ninaine looked out towards where she knew Luneth waited. The dragon
wouldn't mind the flights and if she needed to make excuses, it could
be for practicing strengthening her wing. Hadn't everyone in the Weyr
said it was her choice? No one would fault her, yet... She paused
considering. N'call would have supported her if she'd /betweened/ the
last time, but she got the sense from him that he'd be disappointed.
And with him wanting another child with Teseada, she didn't want to
seem as though she was in competition with the goldrider for his
attention.

And she didn't want to discuss it with him. She didn't feel like she
could talk to him anymore about how she felt about things unless it
was superficial. She always seemed to end up being wrong because of
her temper, or her upbringing, or stubbornness, so she just stopped.
She'd learned to just smile, nod, and just accept or agree.. She was
still jealous of Teseada, though she honestly did like her and
consider her a friend, was still jealous of her time with N'call, and
still felt as though she wasn't as important. But she didn't want to
lose him, so she kept quiet. She made an effort to be and appear
happy. She stopped arguing and resisting, no matter how she felt.
Simple acceptance just made things so much easier. And if she
sometimes wept at night when she was alone, she could be just fine in
the morning. Even J'lor had commented on her new 'positive' outlook,
so it was working.

This, she laid her hand on her belly, would be quiet too. No
discussion. No revelations. Besides, the baby might not even be his,
she decided. She wasn't keeping it so none of the men needed to know.
It was her choice alone. Ninaine looked back at Jahenna. "I'm
/betweening/."

The Healer nodded as though that was what she expected. "All right.
Go three to five times a day for a sevenday until you start to cramp
and bleed. Once you start, come to me so I can check you and make
sure that it's proceeding like it should."

"I'm going now. " Ninaine rose, pulling on her trousers. She didn't
even think about them now; she just wore them. They were clothes. It
wasn't worth getting upset about, though sometimes she longed for her
full skirts when her body felt bloated. She still felt they were far
more comfortable. Calm acceptance worked even for this. Pulling on her
boots, she looked up. "I'll let you know as soon as anything happens."

Jahenna nodded. "I'll be waiting."

Ninaine slipped out of the infirmary, huddling into her jacket at the
blast of cold wintery air and walked directly to Luneth. **We're
flying. Going over our old Weyrling landmarks today. At least five
jumps /between/.**

The sleepy green rose, then stretched with a massive yawn. }:
Alright. I am always happy to fly. :{ The little green also was less
irritable, more willing to comply, and far less erratic in her
emotions. There had been progress. Luneth crouched and offered Ninaine
a leg up. Though it took longer for her compared to other greens, she
was shortly in the air and in a blast of cold, disappeared.

The cramps began that evening and Ninaine returned to the infirmary.
Jahenna confirmed that the round of /betweening/ had been successful.

Last updated on the November 23rd 2020

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Simple Acceptance Makes things Easier