Working On It
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Aaron, Heather
Date Posted: 11th November 2021
Characters: F'aen, T'ner
Description: F'aen addresses T'ner's insecure behavior
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 9, day 19 of Turn 10
By the time F'aen arrived back at the weyr he shared with T'ner, he was a little calmer about the entire scene that had taken place at the Weyrlake. He'd even walked around a bit after the bath, giving his hair a moment to dry, and his brain some time to think.
"T'ner?" he called when he entered their quarters.
T'ner jumped, startled as F'aen called his name. Well. This was it. He tried to slow his heartbeat, but nothing seemed to help. Uncontrollable shivers shook his breath. He forced himself to stand, breaking the contact between himself and Lehystrath, where he had been sitting with his back pressed against the blue on his couch.
"Hey," he greeted F'aen weakly, his face pale. Apologies would be useless at this point. No amount of apologizing would have convinced Ayressa to stay, either.
“T’ner,” the greenrider said, “we need to talk.”
T'ner wilted. It was almost a relief. At least now, he did not have to dread it anymore. F'aen would just get it over with, and T'ner would find a new place to mourn all over again. Alone this time.
"OK," he said softly and waited for the hammer to drop.
F’aen took T’ner’s hands and pulled the bluerider down to sit beside of him on the couch. “T’ner, you know that I love you, and I would never do anything to purposefully hurt you…”
The couch was only going to make this harder. T'ner wished that F'aen would just yell at him. Or at least speak harshly with him.
"Yes," he nodded. He clung to F'aen's hands. If he only had a few moments left, he wanted to take as much of that affection with him as he could.
“… But you have been acting really strange lately. First the thing after Y’sak won Scarleth’s flight, and then earlier today at the Weyrlake? What was that?” F’aen arched a delicately shaped eyebrow.
"I wasn't spying on you," T'ner blurted. If F'aen was going to give him a chance to explain, he was going to take it. He wanted F'aen to remember him fondly, not as some possessive madman.
"Leh wanted to flirt with Scarleth. But she wasn't interested, and he was going to make a scene. I'm sorry, I tried to get him out of there without interrupting you. I didn't mean to." He spoke with nary a pause, the words falling from his lips one after the other.
“Dragons will be dragons,” F’aen said, not at all interested in Lehystrath or Scarleth’s behavior. “Of that was what happened, why didn’t you just come down and say hey? You practically ran away.”
"I... I don't... I don't know, I just... had to go," T'ner said, his breathing becoming ragged for a moment. "I know that doesn't make any sense. I'm sorry." He closed his eyes. "I didn't want you to think I was spying on you. I didn't want you to be mad at me. I... I know you have every right to be mad at me."
“I’m not mad,” F’aen clarified. “I am confused. You are like a completely different T’ner than the one I knew at Dolphin Cove.”
"I... I am?" T'ner asked. That explained why F'aen did not want him anymore, he supposed. But it did not explain how he had changed. What he had become. "I... I'm... scared," he said. "I don't know why this is happening."
“What are you scared of?” F’aen asked softly.
"I'm scared that I'm losing who I am," said T'ner, a few tears escaping his eyes. "I'm scared I've become someone you don't want anymore. I know " I _know_ what you said. In the lake the other day. I know it here," he said, lifting his left hand to point at his head. "But in here," he said, pointing to his chest, "I'm scared one day, maybe a day a lot like today, you're going to come home and sit me down on the couch and tell me that you're leaving because I'm not the T'ner you knew."
“You’re afraid, after the way Ayressa left, that it might happen again.” F’aen said, finally understanding. “What can I do to help?” he asked, reaching out to brush a tear from T’ner’s cheek.
"I don't know," T'ner said, finally believing that maybe he was wrong, and F'aen was not leaving him. Not yet, anyway. "I don't know. Help me be the old T'ner you fell in love with. How do I be him again?"
"The old T'ner was a proud weyrmate to a woman who had been his wife and a proud papa of a little boy. I don't know how you can be him again. You'll have to find a different way." F'aen said.
"Please stay with me until I find it," T'ner whispered. Begging had not helped with Ayressa, but she was already resolved to leave before T'ner ever knew there was something wrong. "I'm proud to be _your_ weyrmate. I'll... I'll tell anyone. Tell everyone. I'll go back to Green Valley and tell Reven to his face that Ayressa is gone, and I love you."
The greenrider shook his head. "That's not what I was implying. You don't have to make any declarations or wear your relationship with a man like some proud badge on your chest." He sighed a little, frustrated at T'ner's desperation and clinginess. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm not Ayressa."
T'ner tilted his head, confused. He had not meant to suggest that F'aen was implying anything. He only wanted him to know how he felt. That he could be something like the old T'ner again.
"That's not what _I_ was implying," he said. He sat up and took a deep breath. If he was going to be the old T'ner, then he had to stop letting himself act like a child who was afraid to be abandoned.
"Thank you for the reassurance. I'm sorry for... all this."
"Hey," F'aen said gently, "I love you. We'll work on it, okay?"
T'ner smiled and nodded. "OK. I love you, too. Do you wanna get a drink or something?"
“I think that sounds great.” F’aen said standing. “How about a tavern away from the Weyr?”
"Let's find a new place around here to make ours," T'ner suggested with a smile of growing excitement.
"I've heard of one near the crossroads leading out of the Weyr that we haven't been to yet." F'aen said, grabbing his coat, and then taking T'ner's coat and offering it to his weyrmate.
"That sounds perfect," T'ner answered as he took the coat and pulled it on. "Thanks." He took a deep breath and let it out. This was going to be OK. Everything was going to be OK.
Last updated on the February 10th 2022