The Right Thing To Say
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Clancey, Dana
Date Posted: 6th May 2006
Characters: Traelyn, J'darin
Description: Unable to sleep, Traelyn seeks out J'darin
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 11, day 16 of Turn 3
Shards and _shells_.
Traelyn turned on her other side, her jaw tightening as she buried her cheek into the pillow, her eyes staring out into the pitch blackness of her weyr. She couldn't get comfortable. Couldn't calm her mind. Couldn't sharding _sleep_.
Sharding, _sharding_ B'ram! Even now, days later, she couldn't forget what he'd done. Would she sharding ever be able to forget it? Couldn't she just let it go? Her eyes squeezed tightly shut for a moment as she fought off those scorching memories of that night with the brownrider. That one wonderful, terrible night.
She hated feeling like this...so angry and so...vulnerable. She ground her teeth. She shouldn't let it affect her so much. She shouldn't...
Shards.
Frustrated, Traelyn sat up, running a hand through her hair. Seeing U'kaiah had helped - more than she would have thought. And being with N'vanik too... But now that she was alone again...
She didn't want to be alone.
Tentatively, Traelyn reached for Nyith's mind.
}:You are restless again,:{ the gold murmured sleepily.
**I'm sorry I woke you, dearest.**
}:I wasn't really asleep.:{ A slight pause as the queen stretched, shifting to get into a more comfortable position on the stone couch. }:You are distressed because him, Trae,:{ Nyith crooned, her mental tone full of concern. The dragon could not understand why Girifith's rider could bring such pleasure but such anger to her lifemate.
She took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. **I know, dear heart. I just need...** She paused, rubbing a hand against her brow. **Is Hasaarth's rider alone tonight?**
A moment passed. }:Yes.:{ That was all the young Weyrwoman needed to know.
~*~
J'darin lay in his own mess of bedfurs, half asleep. His body was wonderfully weary, in that way he so loved after a long day of drills.
**We flew so well today, Hasaarth. We are truly worth to lead this Weyr in a Pass.**
And for the first time, he believed it. His dragon had already told him this fact numerous occasions, though, and the large bronze chose not to comment on this with anything other than a snort.
}:Nyith asks if her rider can come..:{ The bronze said a few moments later. He wasn't curled up with his mate tonight. }: Nyith adds that hers is unhappy. You should make her rider feel better so Nyith can sleep, she says.:{ Chuckling dryly, the Weyrleader told Hasaarth to send Traelyn here, and invite Nyith to curl up with her own mate for the evening.
**Tell her to come whenever she wishes, I will wait up.** As he spoke, he wondered what had happened to keep his Weyrwoman awake. They hadn't shared a bed since the few days after the Hatching, and he hadn't actually seen her much in the last month. He was suddenly glad she was coming.
A soft knock came on the door before Traelyn slipped inside. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness of his weyr, then she slowly moved towards his sleeping chambers, pausing just inside. "J'darin?"
He sat up in bed, though it was still relatively dark. The soft warmth of his voice was clearly heard, though, as he patted the bed beside him. "Come to bed, little Weyrwoman. My arms are open."
She came to him, gently sliding between the furs. Then she slowly turned her dark eyes to his.
Three months was enough time to develop a silent communication. He knew immediately something was _wrong_. He pulled her into his arms loosely, kissing her cheek. "What's the matter, Traelyn? Hasaarth says you were unhappy. Do you need to talk? Or do you just want to spend the night?"
Another kiss, this one along her jawline and the hollow of her neck. "You're always welcome."
Shards, but she hated feeling so sharding vulnerable. Her jaw tightened as she lowered her head, her cheek brushing along his arm and bare shoulder. She hated it. "I didn't feel like being alone tonight," she finally whispered.
He held her tightly, his strong arms supporting her through every teeth clench and every movement. Finally after a moment, he said very softly, kissing the top of her head, "You can stay with me anytime, Traelyn. And please talk to me, if you need. You are my Weyrwoman. I won't let anything harm you if it is within mine and Hasaarth's power to stop." His voice inched up in strength and passion as he spoke. He could not have her love, but he was sharding well going to protect what was his.
So strong were his emotions that Hasaarth even bugled once from his couch, low in his throat.
Nyith answered her mate's bugle with a soft croon. }:It is good you are with Hasaarth's rider tonight, Trae.:{ At her dragon's gentle words, she curled closer against her Weyrleader. "It... It'll pass, J'darin. It always does." But was she trying to reassure him? Or was she trying to reassure herself? Traelyn closed her eyes.
He was far from reassured. But he said nothing else, only began to pull her clothes off of her so he could truly hold her close to him, skin to skin. After a few moments, he had them both snuggled back down into his furs. "I don't believe you, you know. Something has been wrong since you came here. But Traelyn, remember this, if you remember nothing else. You _are_ Weyrwoman here. I _am_ your Weyrleader. We were meant to lead this Weyr." An odd echo of his words more than a month ago danced between them for a moment.
"Beyond that, we can deal with anything that comes." He kissed her lightly, passionate but not promising. He only offered, and then he fell silent, letting her choose her own form of comfort, in whatever shape it took.
He was right, she thought, curling an arm around him, fingers caressing his skin as they went. She was the Weyrwoman, and with that title came power, and respect. But what lay between she and B'ram went past any form of title, any form of power, or respect. He knew her - knew what lay beneath her title. He'd known her when she had been a child, running wild and free around Far Island Weyr; he'd known her when she'd been a young girl, climbing trees and searching for fire-lizard clutches with the boys; he'd known her when she'd been a young woman, loving his best friend.
He'd known her when she had betrayed his best friend, and had watched her, scorning her, hating her for what she'd done as she moved on.
And he knew her as she was now.
B'ram knew her too well - and now he truly knew her better than any man had. Any man, that is, except for L'kub.
Traelyn shifted, pressing a kiss to the hollow of J'darin's throat, her hand slipping into his dark hair.
J'darin didn't know the full story. He only knew what Traelyn had let slip in their arguments, and what he'd gleaned from B'ram. But he knew a woman in need when he held one, and so he responded to her need with gentle, caring passion. He wanted her body, but he wanted more than that to protect her from whatever it was that she just couldn't shake.
He returned the kiss softly. "You're safe, Traelyn. Here, you're safe."
He murmured, not sure what he meant, but somehow knowing it was the right thing to say. He hoped.
She gently rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, acknowledging his soft words, and wanting to believe him. Perhaps tonight in his arms, she could sharding forget B'ram - forget everything. At least for tonight. Sliding a leg between his, she leaned up to kiss his mouth, offering herself, wanting his touch.
His clever carver fingers stroked and caressed her, working at her body almost as if she were one of his fine carvings. Whatever was bothering her, it would find no home here. With kisses and the so gentle passion he showed when he was -not- angry, he helped her fight off the worries that made her brow furrow with sadness instead of the bright smile he'd seen when Nyith's eggs Hatched.
As he held her and kissed her, his mind thought of Maurgen a few times. He would have given Traelyn all of this love, his entire heart, if she'd wanted it. But all she wanted was this.. what he gave her tonight. She was welcome to it, he realized. He did love her. Yet still that young Harper's smile shone like a beacon in his mind until he struggled free of it to pull Traelyn beneath him, guiding their bodies to a mutual release of.. whatever was troubling them both.
She was his Weyrwoman, his friend and his lover all in one, and he would always protect her from anyone that sought to do her harm.
Last updated on the May 9th 2006