Full Responsibility
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Devin
Date Posted: 25th September 2024
Characters: N'vanik, R'lor
Description: After the Hatching, R'lor has some doubts.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 5 of Turn 11
Notes: Mentioned: V'tian, O'rosin
N’vanik spent the minimum amount of time greeting the various important Holders, Masters, and visiting Weyrleaders who’d come for the Hatching Feast, and then he went to enjoy the rest of the celebration. He was taking a break from dancing when he spotted his new Weyrlingmaster.
“R’lor! How you doing?” N’vanik was a few cups deep into the good wine.
R’lor froze and then managed a stiff smile. Of course he couldn’t avoid the Weyrleader all night. He’d been tempted to busy himself with excuses so he didn’t have to face the judgment of the entire Weyr and all the guests, but he decided that hiding was the coward’s way out. To his surprise, most people were pleasant. Only a few people expressed doubts about a bluerider Weyrlingmaster, and hardly anyone commented on all the injuries. In fact, he’d almost forgotten what a disaster the Hatching had been until N’vanik found him. “I’m fine, sir.”
N’vanik stepped closer, frowning slightly. “Something wrong? Are the Weyrlings okay?”
“They’re all fine. That is, aside from the injuries, of course.” R’lor’s stomach tightened. The Weyrleader didn’t seem upset, but he might not want to make a scene in the middle of the Feast.
Kularth was watching over the hatchlings, fussy as a new creche worker. His rider’s emotions temporarily distracted him from his careful monitoring. }:All Impressed well, and are healthy. The hurt riders will heal. Why dwell on it?:{
“Then what is it?” the Weyrleader asked.
Might as well get this over with. R’lor shielded his thoughts from Kularth, making him feel even guiltier. “Could I speak to you in private, sir?”
“Yeah, sure.” N’vank grew more worried. “My office?”
R’lor nodded.
N’vanik led the way in silence and waited until he closed the door. “What is it?”
R’lor let out a shaky sigh. “I can turn my knots in if you’d like, sir.”
“What?” N’vanik wasn’t sure he’d heard right. Worry had sobered him up a little but his head was still fuzzy.
“I can resign as Weyrlingmaster"”
“You want to resign?”
“No, sir. But all those injuries at the Hatching, when I should have prepared the Candidates better. . .” R’lor drew himself up straighter. “I take full responsibility.”
“You think I blame you for that?”
“I thought you might regret . . .”
“Those were _accidents_,” N’vanik insisted.
“Vytian deliberately got in the way of a hatchling, when it was my job to make sure they all understood the dangers, to prevent exactly that from occurring.” Vytian could have been killed. Or Obrosin. One of the dragonets could have been left without a lifemate.
“He’s a kid. Sometimes they don’t listen.” N’vanik sat on the edge of his desk and studied the Weyrlingmaster. “You gonna fold on me the first time something bad happens? I picked you because you care about those kids, but I also thought you could do the job. I need you to train them even when it’s hard, even when you lose some of them. Every Weyrlingmaster does, no matter how good. You _know_ that. But if you’re gonna get hung up on every little thing, if you think you’re not good enough because you’re a bluerider, then maybe I did make a mistake.”
R’lor looked down and his control slipped. Suddenly Kularth was there. }:What is wrong? Why are you upset?:{
Kularth would be devastated if R’lor lost the Weyrlingmaster position, and disappointing his dragon would be much worse than disappointing the Weyrleader. “I’m sorry to cause you doubt, sir.” And R’lor didn’t want to give it up either, especially when he’d just gotten his first class to lead. “I hope I can earn your trust.”
“I gave you my trust when I gave you those knots.” N’vanik nodded toward the looped cords on R’lor’s shoulder.
}:Why are you in the Weyrleader’s office? Is he angry with you? Do I have to talk to Loseth?:{
R’lor nearly choked and tried to cover it up by clearing his throat. **No need for that.** If he had been in trouble, it was unlikely a blue could override the will of the lead bronze, but Kularth would certainly try. R’lor smiled apologetically. “Kularth is worried for me. It would break his heart if I lost this rank. It seems I’ve let my doubts get the better of me. I hope you can overlook this, and I promise to do better in the future.”
N’vanik waved a hand. “We all have doubts sometimes, just don’t let them eat you up. Let’s go back and enjoy the Feast.” But then another thought occurred to him. “Anyone been giving you a hard time because you’re a bluerider?” Maybe that was where the belief that he’d failed was coming from.
There had been a few rude comments, but R’lor didn’t want to admit that to the Weyrleader. “People at Dolphin Cove have been very open-minded.” It was certainly better than his experience at Rising Moons.
“Good. That’s good.” Even if it might feel good to vent some of his anger, N’vanik didn’t actually want to knock the heads of his own people. “Let me know if you do have any trouble.”
“Of course, sir.”
“You can just call me N’vanik.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, si" um, N’vanik.”
The Weyrleader chuckled and slid off the desk. “Alright, let’s get you a drink. You need to loosen up a little.”
“Maybe I do.” It was an immense relief to know the Weyrleader wasn’t angry with him, and that N’vanik wasn’t going to blame him for every mistake the Weyrlings made. It made R’lor all the more determined not to let N’vanik down.
Last updated on the October 6th 2024