What You Deserve

Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 5th July 2006

Characters: D'cal, Zanie
Description: D'cal takes Zanie a small birthday present, but he finds all is not well...
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 12, day 4 of Turn 3

D'cal fingered the present absently as he waited on the dock for Zanie to come out. He felt rather self-conscious being there suddenly - rather out of place. Before, when he and Zanie had been seeing each other, he loved going to the Dolphin Hall. But he could hold nothing against her. It wasn't as if she hadn't been honest with him from the start, or as if there had been any promises made between them. Even though they hadn't seen each other since that day, and despite how well things had been going between he and Dyaera, D'cal thought he should at least _acknowledge_ her birthday. Zanie arrived a few moments late, looking disheveled and rather miserable.
Still, she gave him an almost patheticly pleased smile on spotting him.
"D'cal... an apprentice told me you were here. It's... it's nice to see you."

"Zanie..." He barely recognized her. Shards, what had happened? Where was that spark that had been in her eye? Where had _this_ come from. "I... I remembered it was your birthday, so I brought you a little something is...
is now a good time?"

"Oh. Yes, of course... that's so thoughtful." She glanced around a little uncertainly. "Did you want to go for a walk? Or we could just sit here...
there's a nice breeze coming in."

He wondered what made her feel so suddenly uncomfortable. Was Renner back?
Was she afraid he would find out? "Well, if we walk along the beach we can still enjoy the breeze."

"That sounds nice. There's a ladder over there that goes to the beach... I think the tide's out far enough to use it." Her voice held that same confusing mixture of subdued sadness and desperate gratitude, and her expression was unreadable as she followed him down to the beach.

They walked along in uncomfortable silence a while before D'cal finally asked, "So... how are you doing, then?"

There was another uncomfortable pause before Zanie gave a laugh that sounded far too forced. "Oh, I'm well. I'm fine. Fine. And... and you? How are you doing?"

D'cal cocked his head as he looked at her, knowing _something_ wasn't right, but not sure what it was... "I'm good. I'm finished with weyrling training now."

"That's great, D'cal. That's really great." Her cheerful tone faltered a little, and she glanced at him and then away quickly, as if knowing how terribly contrived she sounded. "I'm sorry. I've just... it's been a long month."

"Is Renner doing all right now? At his special Healer Hall?" he asked carefully. "I--I don't know. I think so. I guess so." Zanie tried to force another fake smile, but it wasn't working. "No one really will tell me anything," she admitted in a small voice. "No one really talks to me at all." And that she hadn't meant to admit at all.

"What?" He put a hand on her arm to stop her so he could see her expression clearly. "Why do you say that?"

Zanie shook her head, tugging on his arm to try to get him moving again.
"I'm just in a foul mood today, D'cal. I'm sorry... you were so nice to come and see me, and all I'm doing is complaining."

"Wait, Zanie, just stop a moment," the bluerider said, not budging an inch.
"Just what _is_ going on? You're acting... not like yourself."

"I'm lonely," she replied in a sad, quiet voice. "I'm confused and I'm lonely. It's just... it's not making me very cheerful."

D'cal felt a bit guilty at the words. After all, it was he who had called off their little fling. "Well, I can see that. But if you're lonely then why didn't you come find me? You know where my weyr is."

Zanie hesistated for a moment and then gave him another of those sad, unsure smiles. "I didn't think you'd want to see me."

"I do want to see you, Zanie," D'cal replied guiltily. "I mean, I was hurt.
Of course I was hurt. And I'm sure I hurt you too, and I'm sorry. But... it was for the best. That doesn't mean I don't still care."

"You made the choice you needed to make," Zanie insisted. "I didn't want to make it any worse on you than it had to be." "But I never met to leave you..." **Like _this_...** "Unhappy."

Zanie shrugged and forced another smile. "You're not repsonsible for making me happy... that's my job. I just haven't beeing doing very well at it." "Shards, Zanie." D'cal reached out for her hands. "You could come to me anytime. I hate seeing you so sad. Anything you need, I want to help."

She squeezed his hands for a moment, and then with a broken sounding cry, she buried her face in his neck, letting her body fall against his. "I just messed everything up, D'cal. I hurt Renner and he's gone and I hurt you and you were gone and all I do is hurt people!" "Zanie," D'cal murmured, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't cry. Please don't. It's not your fault. Truly, its not."

She curled her arms around him and let him comfort her. "I think I might be a little depressed, D'cal."

"I think you might be right," he nodded, squeezing her tightly to him. "But you can always come to me, Zanie. Always."

"Are you sure?" She pulled back and found his gaze with her own, studying him carefully. "I don't want to hurt you, D'cal. You deserve better than that."

"And you deserve better than _this_, Zanie. I'll be fine." After all, things had been good with Dyaera.

She hid her face in his neck again, making her next words sound muffled.
"What are you doing tonight?"

"Hmmmm," he hummed thoughtfully. D'cal was going to find Dyaera. But he had Dyaera anytime he wanted, and just because he spent some time with Zanie, it didn't mean anything romantic had to happen between them. They were just friends now. Besides, who else did Zanie have? "I think I'll be spending it with _you_, if you like."

"I would," she replied gratefully, her entire body relaxing in his arms for the first time. "I would very much."

Last updated on the July 5th 2006

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What You Deserve