New Struggles

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 11th February 2007

Characters: Larken, Ojisan
Description: Ojisan can't help but notice his young wife's pain
Location: Harper Hall
Date: month 2, day 4 of Turn 4

Ojisan stood in the doorway, just looking across the bed at the back of his wife. Still in bed? At this time of day? She should be out walking around the Weyr, or down in the dining hall. Or perhaps doing laundry. At least she had been up long enough to gather the clothes together in a pile. But there she was, back in bed again.

It was a mystery to him. She had started out the new turn with such energy and drive. Perhaps too much drive. Maybe he should have insisted that she slow down. It had always seemed as though she had a bit of mending in her hand or busying herself with Pisky or cleaning the weyr. She had been so attentive to every little need and detail. But now... It seems as though all her energy was spent, and for the past sevenday she had struggled even to remember to eat.

What worried him even more was the way she looked at him. The times they had spent together, when she did looked at him, it was almost as if she were looking _through_ him. He might as well have been made of glass. She smiled politely when he had tried to joke with her. She certainly listened when he talked, but he wasn't sure if she really heard him. It was as if she didn't care if he were there or not. It worried him.

Finally he had talked to the Halls healer, a man he had trusted for turns.
He had assured the worried husband that many people were in a low at the moment. They had been at the Weyr long enough now that the culture shock had finally took its toll. It was only natural, he had been promised. Once the excitement of a new place had passed, homesickness and depression often followed. It was that time in process. Ojisan hoped he was right, that this was just a temporary phase and that she would soon pull out of it. He just wished he knew what he could do.

He finally crossed into the room and kicked off his boots. Slipping onto the bed beside her he laid a hand on her side gently. "Larken?" he whispered. "Would you like to come with me and get some lunch?"

Her eyes futtered open, and she thought for a moment. Was she hungry? No...her stomach wasn't growling yet. She shook her head, then asked softly, "What are you doing home so early?"

"I'm just home for lunch. I saw you gathered up some clothes to go down to the laundry," he commented, wrapping his arm tighter around her. "Do you want me to help you carry it down?"

"That'd be wonderful, Ojisan." One less thing she had to do herself... Shards, she was just so fatigued lately. So tired...and she knew she wasn't being herself. She _knew_ it. And yet even with that knowledge, it was hard to want to make the effort to do anything she normally did. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure." He rested his cheak against her head, his chin resting on her shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

She closed her eyes again, taking comfort in the warmth of his body curled around hers. "Tired," she murmured. And she wished she wasn't... But shards. She just couldn't fight it.

It was such a relief that she was finally _responding_ to him. "Are you sick?"

Larken was silent for a moment as she thought about it. "I don't think.... I don't know, Ojisan. I'm just tired." And unhappy. But that was her fault, and she needed to come to terms with her situation and just accept it. Frowning, she curled a hand into the blanket and tucked it up to her chin. Was this fatigue her way of dealing with it? Shards...she didn't know.

"Do you miss Emerald Falls?" he asked gently.

"In some ways. The fields, the meadows. The waterfalls and streams and lakes." Her voice grew softer. "My family."

Now they were getting somewhere! "Well, maybe we can go visit your family? I'm sure we could find a dragonrider who could give us a ride out there."

Larken hid a wince against her pillow, wishing she hadn't spoken. **Shard it, Larken. It's jut a sharding phrase!** But she would never be able to hear it again without hearing M'tone's teasing voice behind it, the suggestive look in his eye. Faranth, she was as bad as those women in the romantic novels sitting on her shelf across the room! But perhaps there was a layer of truth in them--in her.

Her sudden silence worried him. "Larken? Would you like me to ask a dragonrider to take you to see your family for a few days?"

"Sorry, love... I was /between/ in thought for a moment," she murmured, eyes opening again so she could get a glimpse of him. "I think I'd like that. But...not yet." The very thought of traveling from the Weyr made her feel even more tired.

"All right." If her family was really all that was bothering her, wouldn't she jump at the chance? She puzzled him. "Do you think you might be up for a walk on the beach later? Just to get some fresh air? I can leave early..."

Shrugging a shoulder, she reached over, fingers wrapping around his wrist.
"Maybe."

"I'll come home early then." A 'maybe' wasn't a 'no' at least. That was a step in... well, little of any direction, but still it was _something_. "If you're feeling up to it we can go for a walk. Or just have a quiet evening at home. Or anything you want to do, really."

Larken was silent for a moment, a pang of guilt searing through her. She didn't deserve his kindness. Swallowing thickly, she closed her eyes again and nodded. "Okay," she whispered.

He held her quietly for a few minutes, wishing there was something he could say or do to get his old Larken back. "Right," he sighed, turning to kiss her head softly, "I'll take that laundry down now."

Last updated on the February 17th 2007

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New Struggles