Different Kinds Of Love

Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 14th March 2007

Characters: Renner, Zanie
Description: Renner tells Zanie his decision.
Location: Dolphin Hall
Date: month 2, day 23 of Turn 4

Zanie found herself on the beach when the sun rose more often than not of late, finding the relative quiet of sunrise to be a pleasant time to think. She'd had a lot to think about since Renner had promised to consider her offer--mostly what she'd do if turned her down. She hadn't dared consider what she'd do if he didn't yet.

She wouldn't push though. Every morning she got dressed before sunrise and walked down the beach to the spot where they'd so often gone swimming. Eventually, she figured, he would come and find her there and tell her what he'd decided about their future.

Renner's steps were heavy as he walked along the beach. He knew what the right thing to do was. How could he in good conscience agree to such a... farce. It was going to hurt her, he knew, but in the long run it was best for both of them. He was sure of it. And she had promised she would be his friend either way. He had to believe that.

"Good morning," he said as he lowered himself to sand beside her. "Any dolphins sighted yet?"

"Not yet." She leaned over and bumped his shoulder lightly with hers, trying to keep the conversation normal. "I thought you were going to start getting up early. We'll never get our morning swim in if you sleep so late every day."

"I guess I'm not used to waking up early anymore. There wasn't much need at the other place. I think I need someone to wake me up in the morning." He chuckled quietly as a memory came back. "Do you remember when you spent the night in my room before and you fell right out of the bed?"

"It was a small bed!" she retorted, making a face at him. "And you flop about so much... it was self defense."

"Yeah, well then you decided you wanted to go for a swim and accused _me_ of being old man who should just go back to sleep 'cause I couldn't keep up with you." Which was even more amusing since he had been the stronger swimmer.

Her smile was genuine now as the awkwardness faded. No matter what was between them, it was still _Renner_. "And every bit of it's true," she replied innocently, bumping him with her shoulder again.

"Oh really," he grinned, reaching over to tickle her on her sides. "Then why was _I_ the one sent to save you from downing yourself when you were mapping the coast of Topaz Sea Hold, huh?"

"Hey!" She squirmed away and slapped at his hands. "Watch your fingers, journeyman, or you might just lose them!"

"Oh ho!" Renner leaned over her menacingly, his fingers poised at the ready. "And just how could I patch you up if I have no fingers, hmmm?"

Zanie bared her teeth at him. "It's a chance I'll take. Besides, you'll swim a lot slower without fingers!"

"That will be of no help to you on land. And you have to come to land eventually." His eyes held a spark of challenge as he lunged for her sides once more. "Admit it, I'm not so old."

She yelped as his fingers found the ticklish spot just above her waist, and tried to twist away. But she was laughing--real, honest laughter for the first time that she could remember in far too long. "Fine, fine!"
she panted finally when it became obvious that she wasn't going to regain the upper hand. "You're young and vigorous!"

Renner hadn't realized how long it had been since they had laughed like that together. Shards, he couldn't even remember the last time he had felt so... normal. His hands slipped around her and pulled her close to him. "I've missed times like this, Zanie. I was so lonely there without you."

"I know, Renner." She tucked her head against his shoulder and sighed.
"But you're back now. And we'll--have good times again. No matter what."
It was the closest she'd come to mentioning the question that hung between them.

He rested his head against hers, remembering just how good it felt to be this close to someone. And it wasn't about romance or sexual tension. It was pure companionship. That was the one thing they had to offer each other. People wouldn't understand if they saw them wrapped around each other like they were now. They would be sure they were in love. Well, they were, in their way. Renner had no doubt that he and Zanie loved each other truly and deeply. How many people could say they found someone who could take all the broken pieces inside them and make them whole? Why did it only have to be a _lover_ who could mend a broken heart? Shards, how many married couples could really say they were as close as he and Zanie were. How many passionate lovers could say that? Sex was only one part of a marriage. It was part of only one kind of love. Companionship was the real meat of a relationship. What couple could claim to be better friends then they were? And she had said what they had was enough...

"Zanie," Renner finally whispered softly, "If you ever find another man you want to spend your life with, would you promise me you'd leave me?"

"What about you?" she replied just as softly. "We're by a Weyr now. Will you promise me the same thing?"

Renner knew it wasn't the same. He could never have that kind of a relationship with a man. Not in any way he could still be accepted by the Hall. Besides how could he leave Zanie for such selfish reasons after she had done so much for him. He would never hurt her. But if she would agree, he would agree. "I would," he finally nodded.

She smiled and pressed her forehead against his. "Then I would, too."

**I can't believe I'm doing this...** "All right, then. Let's get married."

"All right." The words sounded so casual for such an important decision, and she couldn't help but laughing. "Oh, Renner. I can't imagine living with anyone but you. You're the only person who understands me."

He held her close, feeling surprisingly at ease with this sudden decision. "I love you, Zanie." It might not be a romantic love, but it was a deeper than any love he had ever found. "I love you, too." For a long time she simply rested her forehead against his and enjoyed the peace of knowing what the future would bring. Then she sighed. "I suppose we have to tell my father."

"Ah yes." Shards, he had forgotten that she came attached to Zaynar... Was he really willingly relating himself that man? He sighed and kissed her forehead softly. "This should be fun."

Last updated on the March 16th 2007

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Different Kinds Of Love