End It

Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 22nd March 2007

Characters: V'lorn, Isaline
Description: V'lorn has some advice for Isaline on matters of the heart.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 28 of Turn 4

"Can I ask you something?" Isaline had been tracing mindless patterns along V'lorn's chest with one finger for a while, but now she propped herself up on one elbow and looked down at him. "About fighting Thread, I mean."

"Sure," he shrugged. Why she would be thinking of Thread at a time like this he couldn't figure out, but he should at least pretend to be all ears.

She hesitated for a moment before letting her hand still on his chest.
"Does it ever get any less scary?"

That's right. She was still new at this. "Do you trust your dragon?"

"Yes..." Thanatath had blinked /between/ fast enough that the Thread hadn't made it all the way through her clothing, after all. "But...
shards, I almost _died_. It happened so fast--I didn't even have time to realize something had hit us when Thana went /between/, but most of my jacket and some of my tunic were _gone_."

He didn't even realize she had been in the skies the last Threadfall.
Really, he didn't even care. But it would certainly ruin the mood if he said as much. "Trust her instincts. She will protect you. She would not have chosen you if you were not the only person on Pern who could ride her.
Together you are perfect, and you have nothing to fear. Not Thread, or pain, or even death. Whatever happens, you will be together, and that's the most important thing." Such sugary crap left a bad taste in his mouth just saying it.

}:We _are_ perfect,:{ Thanatath whispered gently in her mind, and she smiled and settled back down against V'lorn's side. "It's amazing.
Terrifying, but amazing. Then afterwards..." Shards, she'd never had sex like that before, not even with V'lorn. And in spite of his harsh words about V'lorn the last time they'd fought, R'alt hadn't seemed to mind everything she'd learned from him.

V'lorn couldn't stand half thoughts. "Afterwards..." he prompted.

She smiled against his chest. "Is it always that... exciting? I've never almost died before, so I wasn't really prepared for it to make me feel so... wild."

Shards, would she just come out and _say_ it already! He kept his voice and smile calm as he reached up to trace his finger down the inside on her arm. "Wild?"

Isaline shrugged. "I don't know, that's the best word I can think of. I tripped the nearest man into bed and it was... well, it was pretty wild."

_Now_ she was talking about something interesting! She had his full attention now! "Oh? Just how wild?"

She laughed and let her fingers start their meandering tracing of his chest again. "Maybe not very wild to you. But R'alt seemed a little surprised by how much I'd learned recently."

The name didn't ring a bell so he ignored it. "You have a good teacher," he chuckled, leaning up to nip at her neck. V'lorn liked the thought of a wild Isie...

"Mmmm." Isaline drew her nails lightly down his side. "Would you be insulted if I admitted that I kind of want to learn more, just so I can shock him again?"

Like he cared for her reasons! He just wanted to hurry up and get started! "I suppose I could teach you a thing or two. Just how much do you want to impress this boy?"

Isaline blushed, her cheek turning warm against his arm. "I think I might be a tiny bit in love with him."

_That_ was a mood killer. "You think you what?" Shards, not again. He was having fun with Isie! If she ran off and fell in love with some twit, that would just ruin it! "Isie, do you really know what love is?"

Her blush deepened. "No... that's why I said I _think_. I don't know for sure."

"Isie, I think its time you and I had a bit of a talk," he said, rolling over on his side and propping himself up on his elbow. "I know for someone your age... well, everything gets so confusing and messed up.
It's easy to confuse pleasure and love. That's why many greenriders come out of a Flight sure they have just found their soulmate, when really, it was just the dragonlust. I want you to understand this -
pleasure feels good. It feels good now, and it feels good always.
Love... well, its like drinking too much. It feels wonderful for a little while, but in the end you will do stupid things you will regret the rest of your life and wake up with a painful hangover and just want to die. That is what love is."

Isaline stiffened a little. "I'm not _stupid_, V'lorn! I'm having plenty of fun with you, and I don't think it's love. And Thana hasn't had her first flight yet, but when she does I'm not going to think _that's_
love, either!"

His voice softened and he reached up to caress her cheek soothingly. If he wasn't careful, he might lose her. Oh he loved the fine line he was treading now! "I'm not saying that you don't have a concept of love, Isie. All I'm saying is that you don't really understand what a dangerous road you're heading down. I know. I have been there myself and I would rather save you from that pain."

"It can't _always_ be a bad thing," she insisted, slightly mollified by his gentle touches. "And maybe it would be a bad thing with R'alt...
it's not like he's ever going to fall in love with me. He didn't even notice I was a girl until a few months ago, I swear."

"It always falls apart in the end. And for all the gentleness you see in public, there's just as much hurting behind closed doors." He leaned down to kiss her neck softly, letting his lips linger and his fingers wander as he whispered, "Love is a beautiful concept, but it opens you up to ugly things. Like anger, and jealousy. I would hate to see such black emotions poison your soul."

"Oh..." It seemed like an awfully bleak outlook, but V'lorn might have gotten hurt before. And in a way he was right... hadn't things already been uncomfortable between her and R'alt? Maybe she needed to do her best to distance herself from him emotionally. They could be friends, and maybe lovers. Just... not in love.

"And then you have your lifemate to consider," he added as he slowly slid the sheet away from her body. "How confusing would it be for her when she rises to mate. Should she follow her heart, or yours? What if by loving someone, you are unconsciously depriving her of choice in Flight?"

Isaline hesitated. "Can--can that happen? Can I hurt her?" Shards, no one had ever said anything like that during their Weyrling training!

"Of course you can hurt her," V'lorn murmured, gently drawing circles on her stomach with the tips of his fingers. "You're the only way she _can_ hurt. Think about it, Isie. Just as our lifemates feel our pleasure, they also feel our pain. They don't hurt each other like we do. They don't get jealous or angry, their hearts don't break like ours. They only experience those things through _us_."

"I never really thought of it like that..." Isaline's voice trailed off.
**Do I hurt you?**

Thanatath seemed confused. }:I don't like when you hurt. You don't like when I hurt.:{ "Most people don't," V'lorn nodded, sure he was getting to her. "It's easy to be selfish and want to follow our hearts. It's a very natural human reaction. I used to be that way. But I realized, I am _not_ just a human anymore. I'm a human _and_ a dragon. I can't ask Naoth to hurt for me anymore. Do you know what I do now when I think I might be falling in love?"

Isaline turned her attention back to V'lorn. "What?"

He locked his eyes on hers. "I end it before anyone can get hurt."

"Oh." That was certainly something to think about. "I don't know how to do that, though. I can't stop being friends with him. But I don't know how to keep myself from... I don't know. Starting to feel other things."

"See, that's the advantage of just living for pleasure. It makes you forget everything but that feeling." To emphasize the point he let his fingers teasingly along the inside of her thighs. "You'd be surprised just how easy it is to forget."

She wasn't sure if she could forget forever, but at least she could try to forget for now. "Why don't you show me?"

Last updated on the March 22nd 2007

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