I've Missed You

Writers: Eimi, Dana
Date Posted: 31st March 2007

Characters: Larken, M'tone
Description: Larken makes her decision
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 28 of Turn 4

It had only been polite to stay for breakfast. Especially after the evening the greenrider had given him. Still, after the afterglow wore off, M'tone couldn't help but feel that something was lacking. As nice as Hertea was, she just wasn't... something... It was frustrating. It was unfulfilling. It was just sex. And that fact didn't used to bother him until recently. Now when he wandered back to his weyr after spending the night in an enthusiastic partner's bed, he couldn't help but wish he was spending the night instead in a certain woman's arms... A woman he couldn't have. A woman he wasn't supposed to want, according to her Hallbred sensibilities.

This was just one of many mornings he had walked back to his weyr with Larken on his mind. This was, however, the first time he had opened his door to find himself staring at her back.

She heard him come in, but didn't turn around. Instead she kept on staring at the opposite wall, but her eyes weren't seeing it. "I hate this."

It wasn't hard to guess what she was referring to. "It's the way you wanted it to be."

She turned around, and her blue eyes were stark. Angry. "This is _not_
what I wanted. It's what I had to do. And I've tried, M'tone. I've _tried_. But I can't keep living day to day like this! I can't keep thinking about you and feeling this way--" She stopped herself, crossing her arms protectively over her chest.

"What do you want from me?" he asked throwing his hands up helplessly. "You wanted to stop, we stopped. You wanted me to leave you alone, I've left you alone. What do you want me to do, Larken?"

Oh, she knew perfectly well what she wanted him to do, but a part of her was still holding back. And whether it was a sense of duty to what being a well-bred lady meant that was tethering her, or the fear of taking that giant leap into the unknown with arms wide open, Larken just couldn't say anymore. "I don't...." She shook her head, feeling torn. **I just want to be happy again...*

M'tone shook his head slowly. As much as he wanted to sweep her up in his arms right then, he would not let her draw him in again just to push him away. "I won't play this game, Larken."

"A game? You think this is a _game_?"

"No," he admitted softly. "But I won't let myself love you just to have you tell me that I shouldn't again. It's not fair to any of us."

She held his eyes for a long moment before dropping them. He was right. It had to end today. Right now. Whichever direction she decided to go, that chosen direction had to be the end of it. And once she did choose, she had to come to terms with whatever decision she made. She had to. She couldn't let herself sway anymore.

As Larken studied the floor, caught between desire and fear, she remembered one of the evenings she'd been in this very weyr, curled up with him on his sofa, kissing. She remembered that he had pulled back to murmur in her ear: "You could have us both." In a way, she already had them both then. But she didn't have M'tone completely as a man and woman _should_ have each other.

When she had first stepped onto Dolphin Cove's soil last Turn, she never would have imagined she'd be in this position. She never would have thought that she would have found a man who would challenge the very foundations of who she was, and yet respect her and care for her enough to let her make her own decisions. Larken drew in a deep breath, knowing with a startling finality what her decision was.

When she looked back up at him, there was a rare vulnerability in her eyes, and she took a step forward. "I've missed you."

M'tone could feel himself drawn to her despite the warnings in his head. This could just be another let down. She could just change her mind tomorrow. But by Faranth's Shell, he wouldn't let her slip away again. Closing the distance he reached for her. "Shards, I've missed you, Larken."

As he took her in his arms, she felt something deep down within her ease--and something else tighten. Larken tilted her head up to meet his eyes, one hand resting on his chest, the other curling around the back of his neck. "Did you?" she asked quietly, remembering the look on his face when he'd been with that woman the night before.

"Every day," he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her. M'tone had meant for it to be soft, but it quickly turned deeper and more heated as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her hard against him. He would not let her go again so easily!

By the time he released her mouth, Larken's cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright with an aching desire. Shards and shells....she'd never kissed him like that before. It was as if in finally choosing what she wanted, something wildly new and passionate had been released inside of her, and she reached up to stroke his hair back from his brow, a smile curling her lips.

The brownrider took her face in his hands, meeting her unguarded gaze. "Fly with me, Larken."

"Yes," she whispered.

He took her hand and lead her towards his dragon's weyr. M'tone wanted to take her away from this place - away from husbands and morals and preconceived notions of right and wrong. He wanted to take her somewhere no one else was and they could be the only two people in the world. Handing her a spare jacket he said, "Here. Put this on."

Obediently she shrugged into it, feeling her heartbeat quicken as he leaned towards her to help her with the fastenings. "It's huge," she grinned, watching him as he rolled up her sleeves.

M'tone's heart pounded as he looked down at her. She was almost lost under a mound of wherhide, looking so small and her smile so trusting. No women even in the skimpiest and most seductive of outfits had ever looked half as sexy as she did in that moment. He kissed her softly. "Tell me you want to do this," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. If she was going to change her mind, she better do it now. He would hold nothing back this time.

She closed her eyes. There was a faint inkling of guilt in the back of her thoughts for what she was about to do, but it was so very faint. Too faint to listen to. Larken knew what she wanted. Perhaps she had known since earlier that morning, when her feet had carried her from the familiar path down to the beach to M'tone's weyr instead. "I want to do this," told him softly, touching the tip of her nose to his.

He kissed her once more quickly, though it was obvious he wanted it to be so much more. Tearing himself away from her he reached for the brown's harness. His fingers fumbled with the buckles, feeling like a silly weyrling in more than one way. Finally he helped her into place, wrapped the safety strap around her and took his place in front of her. Wrapping her arms around him he looked at her over his shoulder. "Are you ready?"

With her heart in her mouth, Larken met his gaze, hugging herself to him. "I'm ready."

M'tone turned away, and must have immediately signaled his dragon in that mind-to-mind rapport they shared, for Encourth suddenly launched himself from the rocky ledge.

Larken let out an ecstatic cry of surprise and fearful delight as the world fell away below her. She clung to M'tone's back, blue eyes huge and filled with wonderment as she looked down on the Weyr. She could see the herdbeasts stampeding around the grassy knolls of their pens, the dragons playing in the Weyrlake and sunning on the rocks. She could see moving specks--people--down on the paths that lead out to the beach. But she couldn't hear anything save the winds rushing past her and the beating of Encourth's tapering wings. And the pounding of her own heart in her ears.

Suddenly the brown dipped his neck, abruptly shifting to glide down--and then, almost just as swiftly, they were spiraling up towards the clouds.
**This is incredible,** she thought, unable to tear her eyes away from the ocean below. Pressing her cheek against M'tone's shoulder, her arms tightened around him for a moment, letting him know just how much she was enjoying Encourth's flight....and just how much she was anticipating what was coming.

Last updated on the March 10th 2008

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I've Missed You