Not A Monster

Writers: Rochelle
Date Posted: 31st July 2008

Characters: Tatitem, J'ritem
Description: Tatitem spends an evening with her grandchildren and her son.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 10, day 18 of Turn 4

"Caera, be nice to your cousin." Tatitem gently admonished. The fair headed girl made a face, but grudgingly gave the piece of redfruit to Jataire.

"T'ank you Caera." The six turn old said dutifully, then fled to the corner where her stuffed dragon was lying.

There was a small tug on her skirt, and Tati looked down to see Asaern trying to climb into her lap. She helped him up, and smiled over at J'ritem, who had four-turn Catera asleep in his. He was absolutely still, uncertain what to do with his niece. He was visiting her, as he often did, and she'd offered to watch her grandchildren for a few candlemarks so her daughters could tend to some craft duties.

"It's all right, Jer." Tati said quietly, amused. "You can breathe. She won't wake. When she's out, she's out. Caera, where's that book we were reading?"

While Caera searched through the bag Terase had brought, her son shook his head slowly. She raised an eyebrow, hoping he would tell her what he was thinking.

"It's been a long time." He rasped at last, then cleared his throat quietly. "Since my appearance didn't scare everyone."

"Nonsense." Tati said sharply. "It never scared me."

He shook his head again slowly, his mouth twisting into something resembling a faint, bitter smile.

"Don't lie, mother." He said quietly. "I see that look in your eyes every day. You were scared of me at first too, scared that your little boy had turned into a complete monster." He laughed softly, rasping and bitter. "I still might, and you know it. You're scared that if you stop, if you show it, I won't be your little boy anymore. That I'll be a monster inside as well as out."

"I was never scared of you, J'ritem." She admonished softly. "I was scared for you. It's what mothers do. You almost died, and Lecitrith with you. Of course I was scared."

J'ritem just looked at her, his scarred, steady gaze more than enough to unnerve the little boy on her lap into squirming, but Tati simply met his eyes, trying to quell the uneasiness inside her. J'ritem had been a little less bitter today than usual, but they were often a sign that he was about to swing to the other extreme and have to be scraped off the floor in a hallway somewhere.

"You are my son, no matter what you look like, no matter what you do or what happens to you. I will always worry about you, J'ritem, but I will _never_ be afraid of you." She told him firmly.

He smiled faintly again, the same, bitter, mocking smile twisted by scars. "Maybe not of me, but of what I might become." He said softly. "And I'm a living reminder of what might happen to M'nex, or even Susha if she Impresses. I know what you see, what everyone sees. I'm not stupid."

She frowned in irritation. "Then you'd better stop acting like it." She reprimanded. "Perhaps some people do see a reminder of what Thread can do when they look at you. But it's the same reminder they'll get if they look at any sack of firestone or scar. And what I see," Her voice gentled a bit, remembering. "…Is the bright little boy who used to crawl in bed with me after a nightmare, who grew up and found the prettiest green on the sands."

J'ritem looked blankly at her for a moment, bitter thoughts and old memories in his eyes. There was nothing left of his resemblance to Jerase under the nasty scars, nothing of his old appearance. And perhaps, she thought resignedly, it was just as well. He needed to learn to stand on his own again eventually, even if he did only have one leg. One day she was determined he would.

But until then he was going to stay her little boy.

"G'ma?" A small voice sounded from the floor. Tati smiled down at Caera, who had just found the book she'd been looking for. "You found it? Good. Do you remember what page we were on? Asaern, stop wiggling or you'll fall off."

Last updated on the August 1st 2008

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Not A Monster