Risk

Writers: Devin
Date Posted: 24th August 2008
Series: Proving His Worth

Characters: N'vanik
Description: N'vanik considers taking a huge chance
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 11, day 20 of Turn 4

N'vanik

The news still filled his head -- Dolphin Cove's Senior Flight would
be open. The other bronzeriders had gleams of hope and ambition in
their eyes, and flashes of challenge when they looked at each other.

But not when they looked at him.

They didn't see a rival in him, not when Weyrleadership was involved.
He'd never won any gold flight. He'd never held any position of
leadership. Even if some of them thought he might chase, none of them
thought he would win. He hated them for that, even if he agreed with
them. The chance, though ... the chance ...

N'vanik leaned back against the couch. Did he want to chase? When the
senior queen at the Weyr rose, Loseth always chased, and he always
lost. No one paid N'vanik any more or less attention than any other
bronzerider. Most bronzes chased when the queen rose, it was expected.
But this time, he would be going to another Weyr along with other
bronzes from all over the South. Ambitious, _qualified_ bronzes.
People would notice. People would talk. And when he lost, like he
almost surely would, they would laugh to think he'd even tried.
_N'vanik_? they'd say, what was he thinking?

What _was_ he thinking? Why bother trying?

He could barely admit it to himself. But deep, deep down, he wanted to
lead. He wanted that chance to show everyone he was good enough, that
he _could_ lead, that he was more than they ever expected. Especially
at Dolphin Cove, where they'd struggled so much. He could help them,
he could make the Weyr stronger. It wouldn't be spoken of with tragic
looks and sympathy, but with pride, maybe even jealousy. Dolphin Cove
would rise from the ashes of disaster and be an example to other
Weyrs.

But he was also afraid. When he lost a regular gold flight, it was all
frustration and the sense that he'd fallen short yet again. When it
was the Senior Queen's Flight ... there was also a small sense of
relief. Making mistakes as a wingrider was bad enough, but making
mistakes as Weyrleader ... well, everyone knew about O'dan.

He shifted again, rubbing his face. It would be easier, so much
easier, to just stay home and forget about it. Leave the chase to
people who knew what they were doing. There was something else he kept
going back to, though. It wasn't any Senior Queen's Flight, it was
Nyith's ... Traelyn's. When she'd become Weyrwoman at Dolphin Cove, he
thought he'd never have the chance to win her Flight. Now he had a
chance, a small chance, a tiny glimmer of hope. He wanted to share a
Flight with Trae, to see how much more it could be with their dragons
involved. To see the look on her face when she woke up next to him.

That hope would make it all the more painful if he lost. The odds were
stacked so high against him. He couldn't imagine Trae choosing him
over U'kaiah, or Nyith choosing Loseth over Kalamath. N'vanik felt a
sting of jealousy, but it wasn't nearly what it used to be. As much as
he butted heads with U'kaiah, he truly believed the man deserved to be
Weyrleader. Losing to him wouldn't be so bad. Besides, he loved Trae,
and she deserved to be happy. They deserved to be happy together.

But still .... but _still_ ...

**What do you think?**

}:I can fly Nyith. We can lead. We were born to lead,:{ Loseth said.
}:Then everyone will see what I see. They will know how good you are,
how strong.:{

Nvanik smiled and went over to Loseth's part of the weyr. "So we should chase?"

}:Yes! I will make Nyith mine!:{ The bronze turned his head toward his
rider, eyes whirling in challenge.

"I can't say no to that, can I?" He patted Loseth's muzzle. Despite
the bronze's confidence, they probably wouldn't win. But they
definitely wouldn't win if they didn't take the risk. "You wouldn't
mind moving to Dolphin Cove?"

}:It's warm there.:{

He laughed. "That would be quite a benefit. All that warm sun and
gorgeous beach."

}:And Nyith's rider.:{

"Yes, that too." He wondered suddenly if she might not want him to
chase. Because if he won, well ... she'd have to deal with him as
Weyrleader. The image was enough to make him laugh. Trae trying to put
out the fires he started with the Holds, the Halls ... with just about
everybody.

He needed to talk to her first.

Last updated on the August 24th 2008

[Prev: Ulterior Motives] Series: Proving His Worth [Next: Have To Take The Chance]

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Risk