Don't Expect Too Much

Writers: Clancey, Dana
Date Posted: 27th October 2005

Characters: Traelyn, J'darin
Description: J'darin goes to check up on his Weyrwoman, and Traelyn tries to get him to open up to her a little
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 8, day 18 of Turn 3

J'darin

The Healer left his office just as evening was settling strongly over
Dolphin Cove.

J'darin was troubled with the news the healer had brought in general, but
there was one kernel of information that he _could_ do something about, or
so he thought.

**Hasaarth? Are you with Nyith? Is her rider in her Weyr, or her office?**

While he waited for an answer, he looked over the report again. Still far
too few riders to fly Fall appropriately. His fist closed around the
hide, although he could not crinkle it up in a ball like he wished to do.

Stupid O'dan! This was a mess. And why had _he_ and _his_ dragon been
chosen for this time?

}:We are the best. And yes, I am with Nyith. Her rider is still in her
office, Nyith says. :{

The other tidbit the healer had mentioned - that Traelyn's physical exam
had been quite dismal and that she was losing weight, even in the short
time she'd been here - J'darin could handle.

He stopped by the lower caverns on his way to Traelyn's office,
instructing a very hearty late dinner to be prepared and brought up to the
Weyrwoman's office right away.

Then he took himself there. As he walked, he told himself he would do
this thing - and have this talk - with any of his Wingleaders. This was
about the safety of the Wings.

Sure it was.

A little while later, he arrived at Traelyn's office just steps ahead of a
drudge with dinner. "Traelyn?" He called, standing outside. "I know
you're in there. It's J'darin, and I'm coming in."

She looked up as he entered, surprised that he was here. What surprised
her even more was that there was a drudge bearing a heavy tray of many
platters following him in right on his heels. "Good evening..."

J'darin instructed the drudge to set down the heavy tray, thanked her, and
then turned to the woman behind the desk. "You're going to eat. And I'm
going to sit here and help you. I know you've been working really hard,
Traelyn. And I wanted to make sure you were okay." He smiled faintly at
her. "You're the only Weyrwoman I've got right now."

She stared at him. Where was this sudden protectiveness coming from?
"I've been doing just fine, J'darin," she told him softly.

J'darin shook his head. "Not according to the Healers. You are one of my
Wingleaders, Traelyn, and you are going to take care of yourself. I'll
leave you to eat alone, though, if you choose."

Over the past couple of sevendays, they'd been working very closely
together and managed not to have _too_ many arguments, although they'd had
a few. He didn't feel as certain that his help was welcome, now that he
was here, and he was far too proud to go chasing after her to lend a hand.

"But you will eat."

"What did the healers say?" she asked, a slight frown pulling at her lips
as she took the roll he handed her. "I've been eating, J'darin..."

"Nothing special. They expressed worry over your health since you came
here. Because we are so short on Wingleaders and riders, I've asked them
to give me updates on the Wingleaders' conditions, and they seem to think
you fall into that category."

He shrugged. "If you're fine, then why are you still in your office,
looking tired? If you're fine, I'll leave this dinner here for you, and
you can give it to Nyith or my flit Oak if you want."

He was now certain his coming had been the wrong thing, and was prepared
to leave her to it. He _had_ been starting to like her a little more, as
the days had passed by.

Her eyes narrowed at him. "You don't need to get that snarly tone with
me." Then her expression suddenly softened and she laid a hand on his
arm, realizing that his gruff manner was coming from his concern about
her. He really _was_ concerned, wasn't he? She hadn't been expecting
that from him... "You can stay... I'm not kicking you out." When he
looked at her, she took another bite of her roll.

J'darin didn't know what to say for a moment. He was beginning to like
her as a person, surprisingly, but he wasn't ready to entangle himself in
another relationship. In addition, he wasn't very good at being friends
with women. Except for Dyaera, and he took her to his bed too, when they
both wanted it. But Traelyn.. He considered her hand on his arm for a
moment, then nodded. "I'll stay for a little bit, just to keep you
company. Come away from the desk and have a seat, hmm?"

She nodded and gave him a small smile, rising from the chair and making
her way over to the lush couch in the middle of the room. As she watched
him bring the platter over, she asked, "And how was your day?"

J'darin joined her with the platter, wondering at their conversation. It
was like they were coming home together after a long day of work... but
they weren't! Struggling with how to interact with this woman, he said
softly, "It was quite busy. Everyday is a new challenge, even a month and
a half later.." He sighed, his brow furrowing with worry over the future
of the Weyr. For the first time, too, he doubted his ability to
accomplish the tasks ahead.

Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, she chewed in a thoughtful
silence for a moment. "It is challenging..." she agreed, her voice low,
"but in time..." she let her sentence trail off, wondering at her
Weyrleader. Setting her glass of wine down, Trae asked, "Have you always
wanted this?"

J'darin considered the question for quite a long time. "What bronzerider
doesn't want this, truly? I know some who didn't or don't.. but they are
the exception. Our bronzes sort of incline us to leadership." He
ventured, not sure he wanted to say much more about himself. Although, he
had been busily finding out all about her in the last two sevendays.

"But you have?" Her tone was softly persuasive. She wanted him to talk
to her. She wanted to know more about _him_...not just the bronzerider
she worked with.

"I suppose I have." He said after another long silence. "Hasaarth and I
made Wingsecond early, even for an older pair. We're really very good."
He said honestly. "But I didn't want there to be a tragedy to bring it
about."

He looked at her curiously and finally added. "I'm not very good at being
friends with women, Traelyn. Don't expect too much right at first."

One brow rose. She wasn't really asking for so much, was she? Just for
him to _talk_ to her. How could they possibly work well together if they
didn't open up at least a little? It wasn't too much to ask, truly. His
words reminded her of someone else. N'vanik had told her something
similar once. N'vanik... Her jaw tightened, and she shoved those
thoughts away from her.

Trae looked away. "I'm not asking you to pour your heart out to me,
J'darin."

The bronzerider shrugged eloquently. "I've never poured my heart out to
anyone, except one other person on Pern and my dragon. Definitely never a
woman!" He said it with some surprise. "Goldriders are somewhat
different, but women are to be cherished for their other gifts as well."
He finally paused, looking at her a bit sheepishly. "As I said, I'm not
very good at it, not so much that I don't _want_ to do it. I'm much
better at things that don't have to do with talking, at least right at
first."

She glanced at him. "Such as..."

J'darin chuckled dryly. "Many of them you've already experienced
during..and after..Nyith's flight, Traelyn. But I'm very good with my
hands, being a carver."

Trae had the grace to blush a little. She remembered. But how could one
_forget_ such a flight? "You studied woodworking then? Before you
Impressed?"

Sensing she was getting information from him one way or another, the
bronzerider gave in with grace and nodded. "Aye, I was a Journeyman
carver already when Hasaarth found me. I was 20 when I Impressed, as old
as they would let me be." His voice softened when he spoke of Hasaarth;
the only creature besides Oak who'd been loyal without conditions. Even
his father had the condition of 'you will be just like me.'

Oak appeared just then, almost as if summoned, chittering happily at them
both from the coldness of /between/. The brown flit perched on J'darin's
arm and eyed the platters of food in a very obvious manner.

The flit's antics brought a grin to her lips. "I can share with him, if
he wants a bite or two..."

"Oh, he'll take it. He's fairly spoiled, but very well trained. He won't
take it unless you offer it first." His charming grin surfaced. "We're
quite alike in that regard, Weyrwoman."

Her eyes met his. She knew exactly what he meant. And a slow smile
touched the corners of her mouth as she inclined her head. "I'll
remember that," she murmured, holding out a tidbit of meat to his firelizard.

J'darin kept his smile in place. He remembered very well. Perhaps they
would get along after all..

Last updated on the October 29th 2005

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Don't Expect Too Much