Shell Shock (pt. 3)

Writers: Avery, Eimi
Date Posted: 1st May 2009

Characters: T'mahl, U'kaiah, Kapera
Description: T'mahl is in no condition to fly and U'kaiah takes drastic measures...
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 2, day 6 of Turn 5

Kapera

"He's been like this for a few minutes, sir. Keeps mumbling about
supplies and needing more. He's having some kind of flashback." Karasi
explained as he led U'kaiah into the storage room where T'mahl was. "He
won't respond to anything we say or do. I...I don't think he's fit to
fly, sir," the journeyman admitted nervously, "but I didn't want
everyone to see this, so I came to you."

"You did the right thing," U'kaiah said absently, looking down on the
Weyrleader curled up on storageroom floor. "T'mahl?" The man didn't
respond. "T'mahl!"

The bronzerider's familiar voice reached though the fog of memory and
fear. T'mahl turned his tear-streaked face towards the Wingleader.
"U'kaiah..." he whispered, turning his body so he could get up on his
knees. "U'kaiah, please... Don't make me go up there. Please. I
can't. I can't do it. I don't want to die, U'kaiah. If I go up there
I'll die, I know it."

The Wingleader hadn't seen such paralysing fear in a man's eyes for
turns. "T'mahl, you have to pull yourself together. You're the
sharding _Weyrleader_, for Faranth's sake."

"Please!" T'mahl reached out, grabbing onto the bronzerider's knees,
feeling no shame in begging for his survival. "If I go up there we're
all going to die, U'kaiah! I can't do it! I can't do it! Please,
U'kaiah please, I'll do anything, just please don't make me go up there.
I just want to live!"

U'kaiah could not believe this was happening. The man was supposed to
_lead_ them into Threadfall and yet he was acting more scared that a
weyrling at his first Blooding. "Get on your feet!" He reached down
and wrapped his fingers around the bronzerider's arms, pulling him
upwards.

"No! No! Please! No!" T'mahl screamed in wild terror, standing even
as he pulled on the Wingleader's wherhide jacket. "Please, U'kaiah, you
don't understand..."

The Wingleader pulled his hand back and with a resounding crack slapped
the Weyrleader across the face. "Snap out of it! We all have to face
it! We all might die! You are not going to hide in some storeroom
while we take all the sharding risks!"

The pain stopped T'mahl's terrified ranting, momentarily clearing his
head. But the tears continued to flow as he slumped back to the ground,
craddling his face in his hands. "I can't... I can't... I want to
live..." He slumped forward, his head resting on the Wingleader's
boots. "Please, U'kaiah, don't make me go out there. I just want to
live..."

U'kaiah felt so disgusted that he could taste the bile rising in his
throat. **_This_ is the man the dragon's chose to lead us?** He kicked
the Weyrleader off his feet as he turned to face the Healer. Through
his bronze he relayed a message to the Weyrwoman to get down to the
infirmary straight away. "The Weyrwoman will be on her way. Please go
meet her at the door and show her in here."

Karasi couldn't believe what was going on, that a Weyrleader could be
like this. "Understood, sir." he replied before heading outside.

Kapera lifted her head as Riyanth spoke to her. "Take over the wing
until Teseada arrives," she ordered her Wingthird and started for the
Infirmary.

Karasi met her and led her inside. "They're just in here, ma'am."

Kapera entered to see U'kaiah and T'mahl, the latter of whom was crying.
"What's going on?" she asked. "I was preparing for Fall...has something
gone wrong?"

"Our 'Weyrleader' it seems is refusing to fight Thread today," U'kaiah
muttered, his arms folded across his chest.

Karasi quickly excused himself and went to stand outside the door in
case he was needed.

"T'mahl, you can't do this!" Kapera protested. "We need you to be the
Weyrleader." She looked over at U'kaiah hopefully. "Maybe we could just
continue as we have been, with him on the ground and J'nus leading
Azure?"

U'kaiah looked at her incredulously. "Look at him, he's crying like a
child," which only induced the Weyrleader to more sobs. He took the
goldrider's elbow and walked her a few steps away. "I'm not so sure he
hasn't cracked his shell, Kapera. Look at the mess he made of this
room! He can't stop crying, he's convinced he's going to die... What
if he's lost his mind? Do you really want him leading from the ground?"

"I didn't mean he would _actually_ act from the ground. You and J'nus
coordinate it, and we cover up that he isn't coordinating somehow." she
protested. "I agree with your assessment of him, I just think this
should be handled as discreet as possible."

"Kapera, look at him," he said, pointing an accusing finger at the limp
pile of tears and snot. "_That_ is your _Weyrleader_! He is not in
control of himself, let alone the whole Weyr. Just how secret do you
think you can make it? If he's not in charge of the Weyr, then who
sharding is?"

She shook her head helplessly. "I don't know. I don't know, U'kaiah! I
suppose I am, but I can't lead the wings! What do _you_ think we should
do?"

U'kaiah had no doubt about needed to be done. "We can't be a Weyr
without a Weyrleader. _Someone_ has to be in charge, and as the senior
Wingleader that someone is me. But I need your permission."

She hesitated. J'nus was T'mahl's wingsecond, had been leading the wing
in Fall...he would be so betrayed...but was there time to call him,
brief him? "What would happen with Azure?" she asked.

"I'll lead it. I'll need to see the leading edge of the Fall in order
to make adjustments. J'nus can lead Cyan if he likes, or act as my
wingsecond, which would probably be more fitting. I have a competant
Wingsecond."

"Are you sure you shouldn't switch Cyan and Azure and let J'nus lead
Azure?" she suggested hesitantly, knowing the Weyrwoman usually kept to
her own wing in wing matters. "You're both more familiar with your
respective wings, and it might help ease the confusion if the riders
have the leaders they're used to."

"If I'm Weyrleader, Kapera, I'm Weyrleader." He would lead the
Weyrleader's wing so there would be no confusion of that fact.

"I think everyone would know there are, I'm just worried since you've
never led that wing."

"And neither has T'mahl, but I'm thinking I'm the safer bet at the
moment, unless you want me to see if I can strap him onto his dragon's
back and let _him_ lead the charge." They were wasting time arguing.
He wouldn't have offered if he didn't know for sure he could do it. "I
need an answer, Weyrwoman, and I need it now. Will you give me the
Weyrleadership, or will you take a chance on him?"

There was no time for hesitation. Not now. Not with Fall so close.
Though she knew what she was about to say would make J'nus hate her, she
also knew that right now, she needed to decide. "Take it, U'kaiah."

"All right then," he said, laying both hands on her shoulders. "This is
what we're going to do. We're going to find a mindhealer to evaluate
T'mahl during the Fall. You and I will go down to the pre-Fall meeting
and inform them of the situation. J'nus can quickly run me through the
formations, and we can decide between the two of us if he should act as
my second or lead my wing, since if this is going to be a permanent
arrangement, I would like to give it to him." Either him or D'wrayt,
though D'wrayt might be better suited for the Weyrlingmaster if he
wanted it... U'kaiah shook his head, he was getting ahead of himself.
"Once the Fall is over, we'll see where we stand. Agreed?"

"Agreed." she said. It sounded reasonable. And hopefully it would
satisfy J'nus. Besides, maybe T'mahl would recover. Maybe.

Last updated on the May 10th 2009

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Shell Shock (pt. 3)