One Step Forward

Writers: Avery, Rochelle
Date Posted: 10th June 2009

Characters: Talwynn, Tatitem, G'farl, D'neyaw, J'rtem, N'clyar, Tsaxa, Rojelde
Description: Tatitem rousts Talwynn from her weyr and introduces her to some other disabled riders.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 3, day 5 of Turn 5

Tatitem rapped smartly on the door before her, ignoring the pair of drudges who scurried warily by her with brooms. It was well past lunch, but not quite time for dinner, and for the first time this sevenday she'd found herself with a few spare moments while on this side of the weyr. Of course, she still had a weyr to run, but she'd left this meeting off far too long without meaning to.

It was for Talwynn's own good. The girl needed to get out of her weyr before she began to rot in there. Even if she didn't necessarily agree with the Headwoman's intentions, it would do the greenrider good to meet others who knew -really knew, personally- what she had gone through. Tati was only chagrined that she'd overlooked the greenrider for so long -she normally tried to catch the newly disabled riders much earlier than this, but Talwynn had somehow slipped through the cracks until now.

"One second!" Talwynn called. She had been getting dressed, and it was hard for her to just pull her clothes on immediately. So it took her more than a minute before she had her shirt on straight and could open the door. "Good morning, Headwoman. Can I help you?" she asked politely, somewhat puzzled.

"Yes, you can." Tatitem said briskly with a warm smile. She swiftly noted the slightly rumpled look to the greenrider's clothing, concluded that she'd been getting dressed on her arrival, and thought approvingly that she'd done much better at it than some riders she knew. "I'd like you to meet a few people in the dining hall. Did you get lunch?"

She knew the girl hadn't. She'd gotten into the habit of noting the riders that had something sent to them for meals in order to prevent abused privileges, and since one of Talwynn's former wingmates had approached her, she'd started keeping track of when the girl entered the dining hall.

"Not yet." Talwynn said. "I've been getting up late, and usually miss the main lunch period." Without drills, it was easy to do that, and her Healer appointments weren't rigidly scheduled.

"Then there's no reason for you not to at least get a snack before dinner." Tatitem said sensibly. She wanted that girl out of the weyr, for at least a candlemark. Talwynn's old wingmate had mentioned that she did stargazing, but to Tati's experienced eyes there was more to the girl's late sleeping habits than simply crafting. "Come with me."

"Alright." Talwynn had the feeling that she wasn't getting out of this one. Tatitem was the Headwoman, and Headwomen had their fingers in every pot. And in her own case, the Headwoman _had_ to, since she would clearly have to know about things like special weyr assignments. But what she didn't understand was why Tatitem was interested. So she picked up her cane and followed along with the Headwoman.

Talwynn seemed to move alright, Tatitem noted discretely as they walked down the halls in the direction of the dining cavern. The cane was certainly necessary, but not to the point it was causing other issues with her good arm taking all her weight. The missing hand was a bit of an issue when it came to carrying trays for meals of course, but that was why Tatitem always made sure there was a drudge or candidate handy to help out at her son's table. She nodded a little to herself before speaking casually. "I haven't had much of a chance to talk to you lately. How have you been managing?"

"Better since they let Riveth and I start flying together. It makes such a difference to be able to get on her back." It had improved both their moods immeasurably. "And I can finally do normal things like dress myself without a healer's help again." Not eat, though, and not carry much beyond clothes.

"Glad to hear it." And she was. She should have introduced Talwynne around right after it happened, but if Talwynn had managed to pull herself at least partially together on her own, it meant she would have one less problem rider after she finally did manage to get completely back on her feet -figuratively at least. "Then there's no reason for you not to come to the dining hall once in a while. You need _some_ interaction with people who aren't trying to stick you with a needle, Talwynn."

"I don't want to be looked at. And yes, I know I'm not the only scarred one in the Weyr- but it's _embarrassing_ not to be able to eat normally. I don't want everyone to watch me fail at pretending to be normal. They look away, or they try to look like they're not."

"Do you really think you're the only one with that problem?" Tatitem asked sharply. "Or are you one of those people who look away and pretend you didn't see them?" She heard that same complaint in one form or another from every person who ever injured an arm, and it got rather trying.

"I...I used to, because I thought staring would bother them." she admitted. "Now I don't." Because I'm not there to. "If it's so sharding common, why can't everyone just learn to stop looking at _or_ away and just...accept it?! Why is it either staring to make it obvious or looking away to make it obvious!"

It wasn't so much that she was yelling at Tatitem as she was just getting something out that had been on her mind for months.

"Because you don't notice the ones who do accept it." Tati snapped. "It's human nature. Ignore the ordinary, see the unusual. This is a weyr, Talwynn. There are always people coming in and going out. There's always going to be someone who hasn't seen a scar or a crutch before. But there's no way that they can learn to accept it if they aren't there to be seen."

Tati stopped then, and took a deep breath. She didn't need to fight with the girl. The whole point of this was so that Talwynn could have this type of conversation with someone she would believe understood her, rather than someone she didn't. Tati hoped G'farl or D'neyaw was in the cavern when they got there. If it was just her son or someone like M'list then heads were going to roll... "The point is, you can't hide forever. You need to get out of your weyr once in a while."

Talwynn listened, and thought. Maybe Tatitem was right. But everyone she'd known had stared...but that could be because it was new. And she _did_ have a point. "You're right." she said after a moment. "I have been a coward."

"Glad to hear it." Tatitem said briskly, privately relieved. "Now come on. You need to get some food into you, and I have a few people I want you to meet. You aren't the only rider who's lost their mobility. I'm going to assume that you didn't know I have people available just for carrying trays and such for people in your position?"

"No, I didn't. I didn't really think about it either way, though. In the Infirmary they brought it to you, and then it was easier to ask a drudge to bring it."

"I know." Tatitem sighed. "You're lucky you were at least polite to the drudges. If you hadn't been I would have cut off your delivery privileges." She wrinkled her nose. "I've had to do that before. I know how hard this kind of thing can be, Talwynn. My son was... horribly scarred in the First Fall, and lost his leg and part of his eyesight." A diplomatic way of putting it to be sure, but he had been getting better in his outlook on life over the past few turns... if tortuously slowly... "I'll do what I can to help, but I can't do anything if you aren't willing to help yourself first."

"You've done that to people before?" Talwynn hadn't known she could do that. "What did people do, yell at the drudges?" She winced when she heard about Tatitem's son. "I didn't realize. So...you take special interest in us because with your son you've seen firsthand what isolation does?"

"More or less." Tati admitted reluctantly. She was the Headwoman. She wasn't supposed to play favorites, but this wasn't really favoritism. "Throwing hot food or heavy objects at the drudges is not acceptable either. I don't tolerate manhandling of my staff." She said firmly.

"I can't believe anyone would do that." And at least she hadn't. "I promise I will try harder to be social, Headwoman." Talwynn promised.

"Good." Tati said, satisfied. They had reached the entrance to the dining cavern, and a quick scan of the tables revealed to her her relief that there were several of her son's little circle of 'regulars' sitting in their usual spot. "You're going to start right now." She gestured for the greenrider to follow her as she took note of the familiar faces nursing klah or small trays of the light snacks kept available between the main meals.

Hmmm... her son of course, scarred N'clyar was decent enough... Ah! G'farl and his missing arm, and his weyrmate the muscle damaged D'neyaw were across from young Tsaxa. Tatitem was glad to see the female greenrider -normally it was just the males at this time of day.

Talwynn followed Tatitem over to the table, wondering where she was bringing her. Despite her assurance she'd try to be less of a hermit, it unnerved her that she was going to be meeting new people immediately. she'd thought more along the lines of reconnecting with friends from her old wing and her weyrling clutch... So when she was at the table, she swallowed and waved with her good arm tentatively. "Hello."

The riders regarded the greenrider solemnly with various degrees of warmth in their faces at Tatitem spoke briskly. This wasn't the first time she'd introduced someone in this manner. "Everyone, this is Talwynn. She was grounded a few months ago. Talwynn, I'd like you to meet G'farl, D'neyaw..."

She gestured at the weyrmated pair, D'neyaw weakly leaning against G'farl while his weyrmate used his one arm to saw a stubborn piece of meat into a bitable portion. Tatitem frowned before moving on with the introductions, making a mental note to make sure that the evening's herdbeast wasn't overcooked as the pair smiled warmly at the greenrider. "N'clyar..." The bluerider rose halfway from his seat with a formal nod of welcome, the movement partially obscuring the heavy scarring running down the side of his neck under his shirt. "Tsaxa..." The teenage greenrider said nothing, concentrating heavily on the food before her, but Tati noticed her pulling her crutches a little closer to make more room on the bench. "And my son, J'ritem." Her son nodded slowly, studying Talwynn with an unreadable expression on his face. Of the riders assembled, he was the one most visibly affected by Threadscore, with stomach-churning scarring marring most of his face and
proceeding down his neck under his clothes, removing any visible resemblance to the Headwoman.

Talwynn's eyes roamed over them. She nodded to each person and repeated their name, hoping to commit them to memory. D'neyaw and G'farl both seemed friendly, or so their smiles were. N'clyar was formal, and she wondered if, like her, he took duty and position very seriously. Tsaxa couldn't have been much older then she was, and Talwynn felt a strong pang of sympathy. J'ritem was the hardest to read, and she wondered what he was thinking.

Since Tatitem wanted her to eat, she sat down at the end near N'clyar and across from Tsaxa. She looked up at Tatitem uncertainly. What should she say to them, what should she do? They were like her, but they were all so new.

Tatitem beckoned to one of the women cleaning off a nearby table before speaking to Talwynn again, intending to make sure Talwynn understood the simple arrangements in place for the disabled riders before she went back to work. G'farl and N'clyar would make sure J'ritem didn't get too pessimistic around the girl, and Talwynn could leave whenever she was ready after she'd gotten some food. "Talwynn, this is Rojelde. She's one of the three I have assigned for helping with trays and such, and if we're running short enough to use candidates then she's in charge. Just ask for her before you get in line for food, and when you get to the front she'll make sure there's someone to help. Rojelde, could you get a small tray for Talwynn, please?"

The sober faced woman nodded and draped the damp towel she'd been cleaning tables with over her shoulder before going over to the food. Tati turned back to Talwynn. "If you ever have a problem or a reasonable request because of your situation, you can go to her or my assistant Appare, and they'll either take care of it or bring it to my attention."

Talwynn listened and nodded. "Appare and Rojelde. Got it." she repeated. It was a nice accommodation for Tatitem to make. "I appreciate this, ma'am."

Tatitem nodded firmly, pleased that this seemed to be going so well. Hopefully Talwynn actually took advantage of the limited services she maintained for the disabled riders, but only time would tell. "Good." She said simply. Then she sighed. She couldn't linger, for all that she wanted to. She had other duties to take care of -not the least of which was overseeing dinner preparations for the weyr. "When you're finished with the tray you can go back to your weyr, Talwynn. I've got to get back to work, but if you have any questions they'll be able to help you more than I can." She gestured lightly, indicating the weyr population of disabled riders in general, rather than just the five seated before her.

"I promise I'll ask," Talwynn said, before turning back to the other riders and smiling. It couldn't hurt to make new dinner companions, she decided.

Last updated on the June 21st 2009

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