You'll Visit, Right?

Writers: AL, Clancey
Date Posted: 24th November 2009

Characters: J'darin, Zelle
Description: J'darin visits Zelle for the first time in a while with surprising news.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 6, day 3 of Turn 5

J'darin

Well. It was time. He was officially moving back to Dragonsfall. He hadn't been spending much time with Zelle, though he had come to visit some. He wanted to tell her, though, and try to .. explain. If it was even possible. He just didn't feel like he belonged here. It was dumb, cowardly, and idiotic. His father's death had given him a chance to really think through what he wanted to do .. now. Scars and all.

Nervous, he called around the curtain to Zelle. "Hey Zelle... are you in there?"

"Hey!" There was enthusiasm even in that one word and a moment later it was pushed back. Zelle stood there and grinned. "Long time no see! It's a good thing you came today instead of tomorrow!"

"Hi Zelle." He smiled at her, even though his insides were twisting up with some unnamed emotion. "I know its been a while... I'm sorry..." And he _was_. He hoped she would understand, if he got around to explaining it to her.

"What? What do you mean tomorrow? Are you finally getting out of the Infirmary?" A broader grin at that; he knew she would be beyond happy to be free of the Healer's care. He remembered how happy _he_ had been to get OUT and that was a shorter time than she'd be here. By far.

"Yes, tomorrow I go home. _Home_. I'll be so glad to get out of here." The woman stepped back - well, limped more like it, but she was a lot steadier on her feet than she had been. The healers had told her she'd probably sport that limp for some time, if it ever went away at all. At least she had her life, even if she did have a limp to go along with it. Zelle motioned for J'darin to pass the threshold of her small area and then closed the curtain behind her. The smile faded somewhat, though it hung on as best it could. "I've missed you."

J'darin's face fell at her simple words. Oh you bronze idiot! Why didn't you come every day all the time? He offered her a faint smile in return and took the chair next to her bed, then touched her hand lightly. "I'm sorry, Zelle. I should have come alot more often. Alot more... maybe it would have been ... easier." He meant living here. She was one of the reasons he'd been able to survive Nyith's flight from the ground.

"Well, you're here now, right?" She had missed him, a lot more than Zelle would probably admit - a _lot_ more. But there was more to his expression than simply guilt at his oversight. Zelle's smile slipped away completely though she didn't move away from his touch. "What's wrong?"

"Zelle...I'm sorry I haven't been by to see you. Its been ... rough. Though I know you've had it much rougher than me, trapped in here. " He paused a moment. He was glad he _had_ come to see her a sevenday or so ago, so it wouldn't seem like this was the only visit he was making, with the news he had to share.

"A few sevendays ago, I received word my father had died." He went on quickly before she could say anything. "It got me to thinking... thinking of going home. Home to Dragonsfall." He stopped there, watching her sweet face intensely for a reaction. He thought she would throw him out of her sight, and he'd deserve it too.

Zelle had been about to say she was sorry. She knew what it was like to lose family, especially close family. Her mouth opened to form the words, but then the last of what J'darin had stated sunk in. Home to Dragonsfall? Her mouth closed and she stared at the bronzerider in silence. Her gaze fell upon her hand covered by his. She didn't pull away, but she did ask softly, "When?"

His eyes misted dark with sadness though he tried to hide it. Her face! Then her eyes were lost to him as she dropped her gaze. Why.. why could this make him sad but his own father's death hadn't touched him at all? Gathering control of himself, he answered her just as quietly, "As soon as possible. All I'm waiting on is permission from N'vanik, and I have a meeting scheduled with him tomorrow. But I ... I wanted to tell you.. first." Now it was his turn to drop his gaze from hers. He was ashamed. Embarassed, ashamed, afraid, and angry at himself. He kept waivering in his emotions because he was torn between thinking that leaving Dolphin Cove was cowardly... and that going to Dragonsfall ... brave.

"You'll visit, right?" Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. He hadn't visited _that_ much when she was in the infirmary, how could Zelle expect him to keep up with him at another Weyr? He might start off visiting, but eventually the visits would come fewer and farther between. She knew how that sort of thing went. Still, the greenrider lifted her gaze and planted a smile upon her face. "Hey, we can /between/ anywhere on Pern, it won't be so bad, right?"

"Oh Zelle... of course I'll visit." He looked away for a moment, then came back to her. He lifted his hand from hers to touch her cheek gently. "I have been terrible at visiting you since you've been in here.... and there is no excuse for it.....But somehow, I feel like transferring, leaving _most_ of the 'stuff' behind me here at Dolphin Cove will work wonders on my general attitude. " He sighed and looked down again, letting his fingers fall into his lap, then raised his chin. He would be proud, or try.

"I'm a stinking flaming coward, for certain, but I know a good friend when I see one. And you've been a better friend than I deserve." He looked back up and finally smiled at her. "Thank you for that, and now that you're getting out, I'll be able to visit properly, in your weyr. I'm so glad you are getting to go home, lovely. So so glad for you."

Zelle wanted to lean into the touch, but she didn't. She did smile at the caress and her own hands stayed firmly in her lap, despite how much she wanted to touch him in return. "I understand." It was a lie but Zelle was good at hiding that. She's told plenty of lies in her own time. While it wasn't as easy to lie to someone she cared about, she did it well enough. "And yes, in my weyr. It will be _so_ nice to get back to it instead of being cooped up in here."

It was no more than he deserved, and he was not surprised. He sighed a bit, and vowed to himself that he'd visit her no matter _what_ it took. "I know how you feel about getting out of here! I was soooo glad to leave. I _will_ visit you, Zelle. I promise."

He was quiet a moment, then went on, leaving a lot of things unsaid. What could he say that wouldn't sound foolish? That he had been offered the Weyrlingmaster spot there and being given a job... where he could MATTER... was almost more than he could bear. It was so nice to know he'd be helping, sharing his experience with other, young riders.

"So, how long before you can go back on regular flying duty? Have you been able to fly any on Rillith much?"

Zelle shook her head. "I've not flown but once and that was yesterday. It was basically to see if I could handle flying to my weyr since there's no access from the ground." Oh how she missed going into the skies! "I'm to start flying, but not often. I can fly for a half hour for now and work my way back up. I'm to report to the healer every day." It was going to be annoying, but at least she wouldn't have to stay in the infirmary any longer.

"What do they say about riding on someone else's dragon?" He gave her a grin, though maybe not as bright as he might have ...before. "I could take you out of here for a flight!" He wasn't really sure why he offered; maybe he was trying to make up for not visiting as much as he should have? For the nights he'd spent with Kapera? Not that Zelle would care about that, but Zelle was one of his few friends. He didn't care if no one else understood, or if they thought he was running. He _was_. But Zelle.. he wanted her to understand.

"I think as long as the flight is short, that wouldn't be a problem." Zelle wished she wasn't so restricted. She'd love to take a nice, long flight with him, maybe go somewhere more private, somewhere that might help them open up to one another more. The infirmary was a poor place for such conversations. "And no /between/."

J'darin's face lit up. "Oh wonderful! We'll just fly out over the sea a little. No /between/.. But when you're feeling better, I'll come back to visit and we'll go somewhere far away. And swim. Or play. Or I'll teach you to fish... " He was talking alot, all of a sudden, but he was really just glad to hear that maybe, just maybe, she'd still be his friend. He didn' have so many of those, after all.

Last updated on the November 30th 2009

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