Sometimes Friends Are Better

Writers: Cali, Eimi
Date Posted: 26th November 2005

Characters: D'cal, B'vin
Description: D'cal goes to check up on B'vin and learns a lot about his pre-Weyr life.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 8, day 18 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows "Have It Your Way".

}: Aosorath? :{ Serenth queried in a quiet tone.

}: Yes, Serenth? :{ Came the blue's sleepy reply.

}: B'vin won't get up. :{ she sent him an image of B'vin laying on his bed, awake, but unmoving. }: He won't talk to me. He won't even eat what the boy brought him. :{ Serenth was so confused.

}: Shall I bring mine to you? :{ Serenth thought a moment. When she had tried to talk to B'vin earlier, he had said he wanted to be alone; but being alone wasn't good and D'cal made B'vin feel good, so maybe D'cal was better than being alone.
}: Yes, that would be good. :{ Serenth said, very pleased with herself and no longer confused. }:D'cal, Serenth's will not move or eat. Will you go? :{ The blue's rider stopped whittling the carving he was working on.
**B'vin? Is he all right?**

}: Serenth is worried about him. :{ That was enough for him. He laid the piece of wood aside and walked to his ledge, anxious for his friend. **Tell her we are coming.**

***************

}: They are coming.:{ B'vin heard Serenth's soft voice in his head. He didn't ask who was coming, he didn't care. He'd just ignore whoever knocked on the door and they would go away thinking he wasn't there.
Being alone was better anyway; no one could think bad of you, or pity you, or judge you if you were alone. But D'cal didn't come in through the door. He walked in from the ledge.
"B'vin?" he called as he walked towards the sleeping area.

He sighed when he heard his name called, **There goes _that_ plan.**
Somehow he didn't think that if he feined sleep that D'cal would go away. Wearily he asked, not bothering to open his eyes or sit up, "What are you doing here?"

D'cal looked down at the greenrider. "Serenth called Aosorath. She was worried about you. She said you won't eat and that you won't talk to her."

"I talked to her," he said defensively as he opened his eyes, "I told her I didn't want to talk!"

"What could be bothering you so much that you wouldn't even want to talk to your own _lifemate_?" D'cal could not imagine _anything_ could make him stop talking to Aosorath. The little blue was half of his soul!

"I just wanted to be alone." B'vin mumbled as he closed his eyes again.
D'cal just wouldn't understand what it was like for him, he was too perfect with a perfect life. D'cal had never had a father tell him over and over how weak and worthless he was, or how pathetic, like he had. D'cal was healthy, able to do for himself, not crippled and forced to rely on others for help. He was so _tired_ of his father being right!

"Yes, but you're scaring Serenth." The blue weyrling sat down in the bed and reached a hand to the greenrider's shoulder. "Come on, B'vin.
You can tell me anything, you know. Tell me what's wrong."

Was he scaring Serenth? B'vin didn't think he was, and he certainly hadn't meant to, but the thought that he could be, compelled him to send conforting thoughts to his green lifemate.

}: I knew he would make you better. :{ Serenth sighed happily, thinking D'cal had accomplished his task of cheering B'vin up.
**Could D'cal make me feel better? Do I want him to make me feel better? Do I trust him? He says I can tell him anything, but can I?**
B'vin battled with himself unsure of what to do, but knowing he had to do _something_ since D'cal hadn't moved off his bed. Causiouly, B'vin opened his eyes and looked at D'cal. B'vin searched his face in the dim light, looking for any sign of deciet, distaste, or worst of all pity. Only he didn't find any; all he found in D'cal's face was concern, the concern of a friend. That was the deciding factor for B'vin. He had never really had an honest friend who cared about him before, it had always just been people he could have drinks with or laugh with, not someone to whom he mattered. "I'm afraid." he said softly, the words almost escaping his lips of their own accord. "Afraid?" D'cal asked gently. "What are you afraid of?"

How much did he want to tell D'cal? How much of himself could he trust to this bluerider? "I'm afraid that my father was right about me I guess; that I'll be useless."

"Useless?" D'cal shook his head. "B'vin, you're a _dragonrider_. You will never be useless."

B'vin grunted, D'cal's idea of useless and his father's were two completely different things. "You don't understand, I'm a _green_
dragonrider. That doesn't mean much to my father. If I had impressed a bronze or even a brown he might have thought me worth something, because I could have been a leader then, something he could be proud about. As it was, I impressed a green; and I love Serenth and I wouldn't trade her for a bronze or brown, but to my father it makes me two things. A grunt, one of any countless other green riders who can be easily replaced and mean very little to anyone. It also makes me a _green rider_. Here in the Weyr, it doesn't matter to anyone if you like men or women, but in my father's hold it was a disgrace for a man to prefer another man over a woman for a bedmate. When my father figured out what I _was_ he beat me, day after day and told me that a _real_ man was with a woman and that's the _only_ way. That's why he sent me to the Weyr. He told me that I was useless to him and I would never be worth all the trouble he had put into me. And now look at me, I can't even be a _grunt_ greenrider; I'm just a useless cripple." D'cal was silent a moment as he mulled over B'vin's story in his mind.
What a terribly sad life he had lead. "B'vin," he finally said laying a hand on his friend's shoulder, "your father is a fool. He is a close minded fool. You are not useless. Even if you never fight Thread again, there are so many things you and Serenth _can_ to for the betterment of Pern." "D'cal I can't even walk! What use am I to anyone?" He appreciated his friends attempt to make him feel better, and his presence alone seemed to lift his spirits somewhat, but he couldn't understand what it was like for him. "So you can't walk," D'cal shrugged. "Plenty of people can't. They aren't useless. They are crafters. They are teachers and advisors.
Your mind wasn't damaged."

B'vin was silent for few moments, mulling over what D'cal had said before a small chuckle erupted, "Shards D'cal, can you imagine me as a teacher?"

D'cal smiled. Not really, he thought. "WEll, teaching wasn't the _only_ option I mentioned..."

"I guess." B'vin said, certain D'cal had more confidence in his abilities than he did. B'vin's stomach made a loud growling sound and he looked abashedly up at D'cal. "I guess it has been awhile since I've eaten." His friend smiled. "All right then. I will have to get us something to eat then!"

B'vin nodded as D'cal stood up. He wanted to tell D'cal how much it meant to him to have him there with him, that D'cal was his friend; but he just didn't know how to put it in words. Instead he just called out, "And don't forget the wine!"

Last updated on the November 28th 2005

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Sometimes Friends Are Better