Who Are You Really?

Writers: Devin, Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 1st March 2014

Characters: Cyradis, J'ackt, N'vanik
Description: Cyradis and N'vanik need to know about Jenackt's past
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 5, day 1 of Turn 7
Notes: Follows "Out of My Hands"
Mentioned: Qorri, R'enh, D'hol

Cyradis

J'ackt

N'vanik

Cyradis paced in her chambers for a few minutes while she dealt with
her reaction to Qorri's accusations and very unexpected exit. She had
more than one bone to pick and unfortunately she was clueless where to
begin.

But she also knew the worst thing she could do at the moment was
attack N'vanik. He had a quick temper as she'd witnessed on more than
one occasion. Not that she was afraid of him of course. She could give
as good as she got and they both knew it.

But this issue was different. She respected N'vanik's abilities to
lead the Weyr and everything she'd seen of him so far told her he had
a good instinct about people as well. But this particular candidate
was a puzzle to her.

She came back to the door of the Council Chamber and peeking inside
she saw that Qorri was gone and reentered the room.

"Well that was fun," she said with a dry chuckle. "How are you doing?"

"Flaming pissed," he growled.

"Don't blame you in the least," and walked close to squeeze his
shoulder. "I still don't understand it. Why did she feel the need to
quit? It just seems.... stupid. I mean positions like Headwoman don't
exactly grow on trees,"

"She doesn't trust me. She didn't come in here asking questions, she
came in accusing." The truth was that it hurt. What he'd done was
choose Jenackt over Qorri and for a moment he'd wondered if he made a
mistake. But if Qorri left, she'd find somewhere else to go, be
Headwoman at some other Weyr or a Hold. If he spread around Jenackt's
information and drove the boy out, he'd end up in the mines or dead.
Jenackt's life was more important that Qorri's pride.

"That much is true," Cyradis sat down. "And I'm sad to hear it." She
couldn't begin to understand her feelings at this point but it was.
"Can you share what it's all about? Or is that confidential?"

N'vanik took a slow, deep breath. "I think we should get Jenackt in
here and have him speak for himself."

She nodded, "I wouldn't mind hearing what he has to say."

The summons to the Weyrleaders' conference room startled him. Shaffit,
what had he done now? He thought back to his day, even to his week. He
hadn't broken any rules. With a frustrated sigh, Jenackt left his
chores in the kitchen, ignoring the questioning murmurs of the people
around him and tromped to the conference room.

He appeared at the door a few moments later and peered in. Both
N'vanik and Cyradis were in there and suspicion immediately blossomed
on his face as he knocked.

Cyradis looked up with a smile. "Hello Jenackt," she said in welcome.

She knew that being called to the Weyrleaders Council room wasn't
viewed with any kind of comfort for most Weyr residents as it usually
meant some sort of trouble brewing. She could imagine it was probably
doubly so for this young man. "Would you like some Klah?"

Jenackt glanced at N'vanik and then back at Cyradis with growing
discomfort as he stepped in. "No...Don't like klah." His mouth
twitched from side to side, his defensive posture stiffening. "What
did I do?"

**Drove off my Headwoman.** N'vanik kept his temper in check. It
wasn't Jenackt's fault. "Cyradis is curious about you. I can't answer
her questions without going back on my word to you. It's your story to
tell."

He looked taken back for a moment. Why now and why all of a sudden?
Stubborness made him dig his heels in and anyone would have been able
to see Jenackt's betraying set of his jaw. "Its not a story I want to
tell."

"I understand how you can feel that way," she said. "But I've just
heard some rather pointed accusations and I don't know what to think.
So I just wondered if it would be possible to hear your side of
things." It was about as gently and non threatening a way to put
things in her mind. She only hoped it would come across that way to
him.

"Cyradis would be a good ally to have," N'vanik said. "The next time
her dragon Rises, she'll still be Weyrwoman, and I might not be
Weyrleader." He wasn't as nervous this time, but it was always a
possibility. If R'enh won, N'vanik could probably convince his friend
to protect Jenackt. But if it was someone like D'hol, he didn't know
what might happen to the boy.

"Accusations from who? I haven't done anything to anyone." He looked
between the two and ran his hand through his hair. N'vanik was right,
but shaffit, he had been told he didn't have to talk about it! His
shoulders slumped in defeat. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, it appears rumors have come to us from Emerald falls. The
headwoman just brought her concerns to us." She cleared her throat
wanting to make certain she could say what she wanted to say without
ruffling his fur. "She was pretty adamant in her feelings but If
you're open to it, I'd rather hear from you the truth of the matter.
N'vanik, of course, won't tell me because of his promise to you."

Jenackt finally sat, and with his elbows on his knees, put his head in
his hands for a long moment. He took several deep breaths and it was
clear that he was gathering himself. He looked up at N'vanik and spoke
softly. "Thank you." He looked back down at his hands, callused and
scarred from the hard life he had already lived. "They think I'm a
criminal. Emerald Falls." His brow knit. "They locked me up for being
Holdless and for stealing." His jaw twitched. "I escaped and someone
got hurt. But I didn't want to hurt him. I just had to get away. Being
in that smelly, dark cage with their people smirking at me...." He
shuddered. "I had to get out."

He continued staring at his hands, looking at the calluses. His voice
was almost emotionless, but he couldn't disguise the bitterness that
laced his words. "But me being Holdless... it was their fault. They
threw my Da and Mam and me into the wild with nothing but what we
carried when I was about four turns old. He was a guard and something
happened I guess. I learned not to ask." He swallowed at the dim
memory. "Don't remember much of what happened after that. Just bits
and pieces. When I was about ten, I think...I'm not really sure..my
Mam died giving birth to my little sister. Neither of them made it. Da
couldn't go to the hold for help." There was a glimmer in his eyes
that was quickly blinked back. They had had to burn his mother and
infant sister. His voice deadened completely. "After that...Da told me
that I had to help. Mam would let him teach me to steal and stuff
before she died, but after...We had to survive and I did what I was
told. We never took too much. Just what we needed. He taught me to
fight, use a sword and to kill if I had to. " His jaw tightened. "If I
didn't do what he wanted, he'd beat the hide off of me, so I learned
pretty quick. Then he got sick. Wasted away and I had to take care of
him. " He picked at a loose piece of skin around his fingernail. "He
died about a turn before I was arrested. Was on my own then. Did the
best I could." His words shortened. "Got caught by a girl coming out
of a shed, but it was dark and she was a stout lass, so I tackled her.
When I found out she was a girl, I just wanted her to be quiet. Asked
her to be quiet. I showed her my knife, but I didn't use it. I just
wanted her to not talk. She bashed me in the ribs, cracked a few, and
I ran off. I got chased, but I got away."

He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the strands." Next thing I
know, they're hunting me. I heard the rumors that I had attacked and
hurt a girl. But I didn't hurt her. They just said I did. My Mam told
me never to hurt girls. I saw her bruised up enough to know that it
was wrong. I decided to try to leave the place. I was looking for a
boat or something and I got caught. They shot me in the leg with a
shaffing arrow so I couldn't run. I pulled my father's sword. I was
scared and I knew that if they caught me, I was done for. Then they
shot me in my hand. Took my father's sword and netted me. Knocked me
out with some club. Wake up in a pissy cell."

N'vanik's stomach was in knots. His mother, his father ... some of it
was painfully familiar. He looked over at Cyradis to see what her
reaction was.

She sat a moment processing, her hand went to her own belly and her
heart bled for the mother who'd had to try and birth a baby with no
one and no resources. And this young man ripped from his own safety at
such a young age. Her eyes were black and unreadable through long
practice but she'd never heard a story like this one. And she had no
doubt where the ultimate blame lay. Not that Jenackt would allow
anyone the opportunity to insult the father that had put his whole
family in jeopardy.

She looked at N'vanik. Now she knew why he would have let Qorri leave
like she did and she knew why she couldn't let this young man leave
their protection. She nodded at N'vanik then turned back to Jenackt.

"Thank you," she said. "Thank you for telling me your story, it took a
great deal of courage." She leaned forward "Dragons need men with
courage."

Jenackt looked up at both N'vanik and Cyradis and frowned. His voice
was sharp. "I didn't tell you that for sympathy, or pity, or to make
you think I'm brave. I just do what I have to do. " He looked back
down at his hands, thumbing the piece of loose skin again. "So now
what?"

N'vanik ducked his head to hide a quick smile of relief. He hadn't
been sure how she would react. "Now you're safer." **And I don't have
to carry this alone.**

Cyradis almost chuckled at the prickly response. "Admiration of
courage is not pity. But do not mistake me young man. I'll not
tolerate anything less than your best efforts as I expect from every
other person here, myself included. Now, you work hard at learning the
things you need to know for your survival under very different
circumstances. A sword will not protect anyone from Thread. Only
flaming dragons can do that. You have the opportunity to present
yourself as a possible lifemate to help guide and care for a bigger
sword than you could ever have imagined. Who knows which of them will
choose you?" She shrugged and her eyes crinkled at N'vanik. It
wouldn't be a dainty green or a courageous blue for this one unless
she missed her guess.

He looked up at the pair. They weren't going to lock him up? Then his
brow furrowed. "Safer...so I can protect people like what killed my
Mam and tossed my family out to rot? And to then chase me when I was
just trying to stay alive! If it wasn't for them, I'd be normal! I
would know things!" He lowered his head, clenched his eyes closed
tightly and his hands clutched at his hair. "People wouldn't look at
me like I'm some monster waiting to slit their throats in their sleep!
I'd have my Mam, and my sister..." There was a shuddering intake of
breath as he mastered the sting in his eyes and continued. " For all I
care, they can burn. Besides..." He took another breath to calm
himself. "can't guarantee Impression. One of the first things I
learned."

"No, but you can give yourself a chance. You can be anything you want
here," N'vanik said. Trying to get through to the boy was quite a
challenge. "And if a dragon chooses you, there are different reasons
for fighting Thread. It isn't just about protecting the Holds, you
protect the Weyrs, too, and your fellow riders. You seemed upset when
Pierka tried to break up the fight. Would you protect her, and her
baby? Is that worth it?"

Cyradis had taken a deep breath and was ready to respond but this time
she stayed silent. N'vanik's point was a telling one. She smoothed her
hands over her own belly highlighting the round curve there.

At that and then looking over at Cyradis, with her round abdomen,
Jenackt shifted on his seat and spoke softly. "Aye... babies are worth
it. Mothers are worth it."

N'vanik felt like he deserved a prize for finding something Jenackt
cared about. "Good. And I know you don't think so, but you're worth
protecting, Jenackt. That's what weyrfolk do, we protect each other,
take care of each other."

He spoke softly. "I'm not weyrfolk."

"Oh but you are," Cyradis smiled. "You're folk, and you live in the
Weyr. so for as long as you're here... you're weyrfolk and we'll take
care of you."

"Whether you like it or not," N'vanik said with a teasing smile.

Last updated on the March 3rd 2014

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