None of the Instructors Seemed Worried

Writers: AL, Kastaka
Date Posted: 12th May 2009

Characters: Meledei, K'sen
Description: Meledei and K'sen share some of their worries.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 15 of Turn 5

K'sen had been very nervous of climbing aboard Sarath for the first time. The slim little green dragon seemed so delicate compared to the large ungainly boy, and the way everyone was acting nervous of his strength since... that day... didn't help his self-image any. Being a dragon, of course, Sarath had laughed off his concerns and insisted that she was made to carry him, that obviously it would be fine or she wouldn't have chosen him, would she?

After three hours of drills, by no means all of which involved being on dragonback, Sarath tactfully conceded that perhaps K'sen was a little heavy and maybe she was a little unused to his weight, although at least the pair of them hadn't fallen over like some of their more overconfident classmates. So she'd stumbled off to have a brief nap before her dinner, leaving K'sen to face the Dining Cavern alone.

"Hey K'sen." Meledei's cheerful voice greeted as she slid into a seat next to the greenrider. She sighed, wanting to lean back but there was nothing to keep her from tumbling head over heels. It would be nice to relax and just sleep. The day had been long, the drills intense, though Meledei knew the intensity would only grow the more they learned. "How goes it?"

K'sen shrugged, although he looked a little glad that someone had come to join him. "Sarath's worn out," he contributed. "I hope I haven't let her overdo it. She's so insistent that she's fine and can do stuff, but I guess they all are, aren't they?" He pushed his food around his plate a bit. Normally at dinner Sarath would be awake and hungry, and without that feeling he'd practically lost his appetite.

"They're stubborn, but that's simply an endearing part of their personality, right?" Meledei was finding that Elleth was more laid back than most golds, but that didn't mean she didn't have her days. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Not really," admitted K'sen. "Sarath's sleeping at the moment, and I'm so used to her being hungry at about this time that I barely have an appetite of my own any more."

"You really should eat, though." Meledei encouraged and motioned to the tubers upon his plate. "The spiced tubers are quite good today. You'll be sorry if you don't eat."

"I guess," replied K'sen, with a slight hint of sullenness. He took a forkful of spiced tubers. They were quite good, if not quite good enough to distract him from his fretting about whether he'd somehow let Sarath do herself an injury in today's drills.

"Is something wrong?" Meledei asked after taking her own advice and eating a bit of her own food. She cocked her head in a vain attempt to look into K'sen's downturned eyes. "Something bothering you?"

"I'm just being stupid," muttered K'sen. He didn't want to show weakness in front of the goldrider, although it looked like he'd already lost that battle. He took another mouthful of food to excuse himself from explaining further.

"Why do you think that?" Meledei wasn't ready to let the matter drop. It was obvious that something was bothering K'sen and she wanted to help him with whatever it was.

Obviously she wasn't going to give up. K'sen sighed and finished his mouthful of food slowly, trying to think how to put it without sounding whiny or like he was doubting his dragon's abilities. "Because Sarath tells me everything is fine, and none of the instructors seemed worried, and they'd know better than me," he settled on in the end.

"But you're worried." Meledei set down her fork to rest her elbows upon the table and her chin upon her laced hands while she regarded the greenrider.

"Well, yeah," admitted K'sen. Shards, why wouldn't she let it go? He shovelled in some more food, hoping she'd get distracted and move on to something else.

"I don't think that's stupid." Meledei could understand worry and K'sen really was being too hard on himself. "I worry too."

"You do?" It was obvious from his tone that this was quite a revelation to K'sen. After all, Meledei was a goldrider, and she was also kind and polite and socially confident, so obviously she couldn't have any worries or doubts, right?

"Of course I do. I worry all the time. I worry that I'm going to push Elleth too hard, that I'm going to do something wrong, do something that might get her hurt, get me hurt." Meledei picked up her fork again but merely pushed her food around on her plate. "I worry that I'm not going to be good enough, that I'm going to make mistakes, do things wrong and basically be a disgrace to the Weyrleader and Weyrwoman."

K'sen was attempting to nod sympathetically, although he had a little of the air of a startled woodland creature. He hadn't been prepared for the weyrling weyrwoman to be quite so candid about her personal concerns, and he certainly didn't know what you said to people in this kind of circumstance or how to go about comforting someone. "But... you're Meledei," he offered, lamely, in the end. "You're... kind and gracious and you know everything, and everyone loves you," he continued. "There's no way you'd get anything wrong. Let alone be a disgrace to the Weyr."

Meledei laughed and reached out to pat K'sen's hand. "Thanks, I appreciate the confidence. Some days I'm okay, it feels like things are falling into place. Some days, I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to do things right." She shrugged and finally took a bite of her food. "Either way, I know how you feel and I bet you'd find most weyrlings feel the same as you do."

K'sen looked awkward at the touch, but nodded sincerely, and seemed slightly comforted by her words as he finished his meal. "Suppose I'd better wake Sarath up and get some food down her," he said.

"Probably a good idea." Meledei agreed. Hungry dragonets were impossible to ignore and it was best to get to them before they got started. "Catch you later?"

"Yeah, later," replied K'sen, picking up his tray. He looked like he was on the verge of saying something else, but bolted before she could question him on it.

Last updated on the May 20th 2009

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None of the Instructors Seemed Worried