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Writers: AL, Cali
Date Posted: 23rd January 2010

Characters: Sorsha, Ri'len
Description: Sorsha and Ri'len talk about his behaviour after spending the night apart.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 7, day 6 of Turn 5

Sorsha was waiting for Ri'len when he finished with drills. She knew he knew she was there, Roseth on the ledge was a giveaway. When he came in though, she couldn't look at him. She kept her eyes down, unfocused on her clasped hands, and took deep breaths, still unsure of what to say.

Ri'len picked up his cloth he used in the morning and wiped his hands over and over on them in a nervous gesture. He gazed upon her, let his eyes wander, only to have them fall back to her form once more. He was glad she was there. At the same time, he was almost dreading it. What was she going to say to him? Would she forgive him? He hoped so, but there was that fear that she wouldn't. The silence between them swelled and he desperately wanted it broken. "Hey." He managed, the word soft.

"I stayed at Cosani's." Sorsha replied. She knew that he knew, Roseth had told her that Monilath had asked last night. Still, he would know from her.

"Yeah.' Ri'len wished she had come back, wished they could have talked then, but Sorsha hadn't and Ri'len didn't want to force her to talk. It might have just made things worse. He shifted from foot to foot, uncertain what to say next, afraid that if he did say something, she'd shut him out again.

His voice, just a simple 'hey', just a simple 'yeah', it warmed her and comforted her, and made her ache for his arms to be around her. She was so used to him being there to comfort her, it was hard to make herself remember that he's the cause of her pain. "I... I want to believe you. I want to believe that you stopped, that nothing but a flight blurred kiss happened between you and that girl, I do. I just don't know if I can."

Ri'len flinched at her words. She couldn't believe him. Why? He had been nothing but truthful. "Have I ever given you reason to doubt me before? I came to you and told you. Had more happened, I would have you that as well." Thank Faranth he'd been able to stop before it had been more than a kiss!

"Would you have?" Sorsha wanted to believe him. "If you had done more, you would have come here and told me that you couldn't wait for me? You would have told me that I meant so little to you that you decided to go rutting with the first woman you found?"

"I would have told you that I was with another woman, yes. But that wouldn't have meant that you mean little to me." Ri'len's face hardened at her words. "You don't understand what it's like...the chase, the desire. I didn't understand until Monilath chased. It was...it wasn't me. I wasn't myself."

Sorsha looked up at him then. She studied his face, her husband, and knew he was telling the truth. Ri'len didn't lie, at least not to her, he never had, and he was right, if he hadn't told her she never would have known. "So you kissed her. Who was she?"

"I don't know." Ri'len shook his head. He relaxed, but only ever so slightly. "I...honestly, I can't even remember what she looked like. I was trying to get back here. I think she was one of those girls you see hanging around during flights." She had bumped into him quickly enough.

She curled his lip in disgust. While she might be upset and hurt by Ri'len, she was furious at whatever girl had pounced on him. There were plenty of men out there in the Weyr, they readily enough outnumbered the girls anyways, why did they have to lower themselves to taking advantage of a man who couldn't even think straight. "I can't be there waiting for you Ri'len. Not every time."

Ri'len nodded slowly. "I need to gain better control of myself." The young man looked toward the curtain that separated the dragons' ledge from the rest of the Weyr. "Maybe I can start taking him away during flights."

Sorsha leveled her gaze at him. "There are flights almost every day, sometimes twice a day."

Really? That many? Ri'len hadn't noticed. He didn't pay any attention...or hadn't until Monilath had finally wanted to chase. He paused a moment, then look straight back at her. "If that's what it takes."

"It's not practical... and N'vanik wouldn't allow you out of drills anyways." Sorsha sighed, looking down at her hands again. "I guess control it is then. Unfortunatly, that seems to be where you're a bit weak."

Ri'len's expression darkened and he blurted out, "It's not like I've ever done this before. They talk about it, they tell you about it and they could do so until they're green in the face, but experiencing it is completely different!"

He was making excuses that didn't make sense. Plenty of other people were able to control themselves and not go about kissing strangers after a flight. Still, she didn't want him upset. She came here to work things out, not make things worse for them. "If you say so. Ri'len, just please do better. Just please don't let some girl you can't even remember do this to us again."

"I didn't plan on it happening." Ri'len's lowered his voice and ran his hand over his face. She didn't understand. It was an entirely new experience for him, despite all the warnings and descriptions. It had taken him off guard, had been different than he had imagined. And Sorsha wasn't giving him the benefit of the doubt. "I didn't do this to betray you. I didn't do this on purpose."

"I know." He just didn't understand. She believed him that he didn't search out this girl, she believed him when he said he stopped. It was done though, he'd done something that had hurt her, that had chipped away at the trust and commitment they'd promised to each other. It wasn't just something she could forget about. Forgive, yes. She was ready to forgive. Forgetting would take longer, if it ever happened at all. "I'm ready to move on. I don't want to talk about this any more. It's done and over."

Ri'len wasn't sure it was over. Ri'len wasn't sure if she truly was ready to move on. Yet, he didn't say anything to the contrary of what she spoke. Instead he nodded and stated, "I'm going to take a bath."

Usually she'd take that as an invitation to join him, and usually she would. Not today though. The thought of being with him in the way he almost was with that girl sent shivers though her. She told herself she just needed more time, just needed to let things settle. Eventually she'd want to touch him, eventually things would go back to normal.

Last updated on the January 25th 2010

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